[{"content":"Just a quick pointer to an article in German for those 350+ Subscribers with a t-online-Mailaddress.\nT-Online verbessert den Spamschutz - Legitime Mails werden abgelehnt.\nSummary: T-Online now blocks non-spam Mail from Debians Listserver.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/t-online-german-provider-enhances-spam-protection-and-blocks-legit-listmail/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eJust a quick pointer to an article in German for those 350+ Subscribers with a t-online-Mailaddress.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/blog/t-online-verbessert-den-spamschutz-legitime-mails-werden-abgelehnt\"\u003eT-Online verbessert den Spamschutz - Legitime Mails werden abgelehnt.\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSummary: T-Online now blocks non-spam Mail from Debians Listserver.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"T-Online (German provider) enhances spam protection, and blocks legit listmail"},{"content":"Today i tried the first time to do GeoCaching with my Nokia N810 running the Maemo (which is a Debian-based Distribution). I already own a Garmin Geko 201 with which i found 100+ Caches, so this is my reference.\nThe GPS-Receiver of the N810 is better than the one in the Geko (at least since i use the fixed gpsd, which normally shouldn\u0026rsquo;t do something on the performance, but in my case\u0026hellip; it made me feel better), so fixes come faster, and more accurate than on the Geko. (from hearsay the SirfIII-Chip is even better)\nI run Maemo Mapper on the N810, a free (as in speech) Software written to do things better than GpsDrive at least on the Nokia Internet Tablets.\nI wrote some programs to be the glue between Geocaching-Websites and GPSdrive (which depends on MySQL) and i modifed those to put the information into SQLite, which is the Database used by Maemo Mapper. If i pump all my waypoints in such a file (which are currently 94607) Maemo Mapper gets slow. so slow that Maemo Mapper becomes useless.\nOn the Garmin-GPS-Receiver, i can have only 500 Waypoints, but i have a \u0026lsquo;goto\u0026rsquo;-function, so i store my destination coordinates and say \u0026lsquo;Goto\u0026rsquo; and the thing provides me an arrow which points to my destination and shows the distance (it doesn\u0026rsquo;t know about ways so it points the direction directly, but that is usually fine as GeoCachers often are so abroad that no one has maps about the area.)\nIn Maemo Mapper i couldn\u0026rsquo;t find such a function. I can say \u0026lsquo;Goto Coordinates\u0026rsquo; and then it centers the map to there, but there isn\u0026rsquo;t a sign and no line or arrow which direction i have to turn to. This is a problem (or something for the wishlist.)\nSo from GeoCachers view (and those people who want to navigate for other reasons) free Navigation-Software for Linux is an area where more work is needed.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/geocaching-with-the-n810/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eToday i tried the first time to do \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geocaching\"\u003eGeoCaching\u003c/a\u003e with my \u003ca href=\"/en/blog/n810-maemo-submission-accepted\"\u003eNokia N810\u003c/a\u003e running the \u003ca href=\"https://maemo.org\"\u003eMaemo\u003c/a\u003e (which is a Debian-based Distribution). I already own a \u003ca href=\"https://buy.garmin.com/shop/shop.do?cID=144\u0026amp;pID=220\"\u003eGarmin Geko 201\u003c/a\u003e with which i found 100+ Caches, so this is my reference.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe GPS-Receiver of the N810 is better than the one in the Geko (at least since i use the fixed gpsd, which normally shouldn\u0026rsquo;t do something on the performance, but in my case\u0026hellip; it made me feel better), so fixes come faster, and more accurate than on the Geko. (from hearsay the SirfIII-Chip is even better)\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Geocaching with the n810"},{"content":"Because of some modifications at my Real Life Orkplace, I decided to reduce other duties to get a better chance to deal with my new duties. So i requested help for my four packages in the Distribution.\nRFH: jove My first package. A small, but powerful Emacs-relative, with all those uneeded things stripped which makes emacs fat. Maybe these days especially useful for small memory devices, as it gives you emacs-likeness for the price of nvi or ae. I have no idea how well it works in a real utf-8-environment. RFH: milter-greylist A greylist-milter which makes running a mailserver somehow possible for me. it keeps away about 2/3 of spam, which leaves me with only 400spams/day. I already have two contacts who want to help with that. RFH: nn No news is good news, but nn is better. This is a USENET reader, for those people who grow up with Webforums and Blogs: This could be still the most effective way to celebrate flamefests, gather information or communicate with people sharing same interests. And nn has in my opinion the best UI for it, and makes it easy and fast to find interesting articles and skip others. Well, Upstream Development has ceased to exist around 1994. I think if no one takes over, this package will become finally useless when IPv6 gets widely used (right after the release of \u0026lsquo;Duke Nukem Forever\u0026rsquo;) and it also doesn\u0026rsquo;t deal well with non iso-8859-1-charsets. So best for this package would be to rewrite it from scratch (my dream: message/mime-handling/threading from mutt, scoring from slrn, and UI from nn) because the User Interface is much better than those of all still alive Newsreaders i tried. RFA: synergy This is my most popular package, which makes it possible to share one mouse and keyboard over many computers and displays. (It is available for UNIX/Linux, Windows and MacOS) This is a very very useful software, and i use it permanently. Sadly the Upstream Development mostly ceased to exist, and so i put this to RFA (instead of RFH) because many Debian-Users use it according to popcon. This software should be taken over by someone who is able to help Upstream. There is a RC-Bug, which caused the package be pulled from testing. Interesting is that while filing those RFH/RFA all the same day, i only got responses for the packages which scores lowest in popcon, (24 for milter-greylist, 1196 for synergy).\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/being-busy-request-for-help/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eBecause of some modifications at my Real Life Orkplace, I decided to reduce other duties to get a better chance to deal with my new duties. So i requested help for my four packages in the Distribution.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdl\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003e\u003ca href=\"https://bugs.debian.org/470185\"\u003eRFH\u003c/a\u003e: \u003ca href=\"https://packages.qa.debian.org/j/jove.html\"\u003ejove\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eMy first package. A small, but powerful Emacs-relative, with all those uneeded things stripped which makes emacs fat. Maybe these days especially useful for small memory devices, as it gives you emacs-likeness for the price of nvi or ae. I have no idea how well it works in a real utf-8-environment.\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003e\u003ca href=\"https://bugs.debian.org/470188\"\u003eRFH\u003c/a\u003e: \u003ca href=\"https://packages.qa.debian.org/m/milter-greylist.html\"\u003emilter-greylist\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eA greylist-milter which makes running a mailserver somehow possible for me. it keeps away about 2/3 of spam, which leaves me with only 400spams/day. I already have two contacts who want to help with that.\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003e\u003ca href=\"https://bugs.debian.org/470187\"\u003eRFH\u003c/a\u003e: \u003ca href=\"https://packages.qa.debian.org/n/nn.html\"\u003enn\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eNo news is good news, but nn is better. This is a \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Usenet\"\u003eUSENET\u003c/a\u003e reader, for those people who grow up with Webforums and Blogs: This could be still the most effective way to celebrate flamefests, gather information or communicate with people sharing same interests. And nn has in my opinion the best UI for it, and makes it easy and fast to find interesting articles and skip others. Well, Upstream Development has ceased to exist around 1994. I think if no one takes over, this package will become finally useless when IPv6 gets widely used (right\nafter the release of \u0026lsquo;Duke Nukem Forever\u0026rsquo;) and it also doesn\u0026rsquo;t deal well with non iso-8859-1-charsets. So best for this package would be to rewrite it from scratch (my dream: message/mime-handling/threading from mutt, scoring from slrn, and UI from nn) because the User Interface is much better than those of all still alive Newsreaders i tried.\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003e\u003ca href=\"https://bugs.debian.org/470186\"\u003eRFA\u003c/a\u003e: \u003ca href=\"https://packages.qa.debian.org/s/synergy.html\"\u003esynergy\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eThis is my most popular package, which makes it possible to share one mouse and keyboard over many computers and displays. (It is available for UNIX/Linux, Windows and MacOS) This is a very very useful software, and i use it permanently. Sadly the Upstream Development mostly ceased to exist, and so i put this to RFA (instead of RFH) because many Debian-Users use it according to popcon. This software should be taken over by someone who is able to help Upstream. There is a RC-Bug, which caused the package be pulled from testing.\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003c/dl\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eInteresting is that while filing those RFH/RFA all the same day, i only got responses for the packages which scores lowest in popcon, (24 for milter-greylist, 1196 for synergy).\u003c/p\u003e","title":"being busy / Request for Help"},{"content":"\u0026hellip; because they are bouncing.\nIn my ongoing attempt to investigate and fix problems of our mailinglist-server, i found that we only had a working bounce-detection for lists starting debian-* minus debian-private and the three digest-lists.\nSo i rewrote some parts of the bounce detection:\nWe now have four categories of lists:\nhigh (30 or more mails a day) medium (20 or more mails a week) low (10 or more mails a month) very-low (the rest) for these four categories we calculate a spam-rate depending on the number of distributed messages and the number of bounces in the timerange of 24 hours for \u0026lsquo;high\u0026rsquo; lists, 7 days for \u0026lsquo;medium\u0026rsquo; lists, 30 days for \u0026rsquo;low\u0026rsquo; lists and 90 days for \u0026lsquo;very-low\u0026rsquo; lists.\nIf the Bouncerate exceeds 80% for unmoderated, and 60% for moderated lists, and bounces have been seen for more than 24 hours we kick. (these rates are subject to change, when we have implemented the warning mechanism)\nSo these changes implemented a bounce-detection for debian-changes-digest and today we reached the level of 60% bounces for more than 500 subscribers.\nSo what next?\nTo finish the bounce-detection, i want to implement something which tries to notify subscribers about bouncing mails. This is useless for \u0026lsquo;hard\u0026rsquo;-bouncers, but people with some smaller problems like mail2news-gatewayers this could be helpful. I also want to implement something which sends out unsubscription notices for three weeks after the kick, so kicked out people can resubscribe after they have sorted out the problems.\nBoth should fire once a week per address.\nWhat do you think?\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/today-i-kicked-560-mailaddresses-off-listsdebianorg/","summary":"\u003cp\u003e\u0026hellip; because they are bouncing.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn my ongoing attempt to investigate and fix problems of our mailinglist-server, i found that we only had a working bounce-detection for lists starting debian-* minus debian-private and the three digest-lists.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo i rewrote some parts of the bounce detection:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe now have four categories of lists:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ehigh (30 or more mails a day)\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003emedium (20 or more mails a week)\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003elow (10 or more mails a month)\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003every-low (the rest)\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003efor these four categories we calculate a spam-rate depending on the number of distributed messages and the number of bounces in the timerange of 24 hours for \u0026lsquo;high\u0026rsquo; lists, 7 days for \u0026lsquo;medium\u0026rsquo; lists, 30 days for \u0026rsquo;low\u0026rsquo; lists and 90 days for \u0026lsquo;very-low\u0026rsquo; lists.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Today i kicked 560 Mailaddresses off lists.debian.org ..."},{"content":"While analysing the pole setters in our internal bouncers-Hitlist i found that some of them run a mail2news-Gateway.\nThe problem is: our Mailinglists leave Mail-Headers mostly untouched, and so headers like X-Trace or X-Complaints-To are passed through without modifications.\nIf a mail containing those headers is handed over to inews (as in INN) it rejects it, and the bounce comes back to us:\n\u0026lt;\u0026gt; XXXXX@XXX.com\u0026gt; \u0026gt;: Command died with status 1: \u0026ldquo;/usr/bin/maildrop\u0026rdquo;. Command output: inews: cannot send article to server: 441 Can\u0026rsquo;t set system \u0026ldquo;X-Complaints-To\u0026rdquo; header inews: article not posted\nso people: fix your systems. if you do more with listmail than dropping it somewhere make sure that the bounces your system produces go to someone who can fix it. We (as in listmasters) normally simply unsubscribe those.\nbtw: we talk about 18181 bounces since 08.2004 in this case.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/debian-lists-vs-mail2news-gateways/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eWhile analysing the pole setters in our internal bouncers-Hitlist i found that some of them run a mail2news-Gateway.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe problem is: our Mailinglists leave Mail-Headers mostly untouched, and so headers like X-Trace or X-Complaints-To are passed through without modifications.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf a mail containing those headers is handed over to inews (as in INN) it rejects it, and the bounce comes back to us:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026lt;\u003ca href=\"mailto:XXXXX@XXX.com\"\u003e\u0026gt; XXXXX@XXX.com\u003c/a\u003e\u0026gt; \u0026gt;: Command died with status 1: \u0026ldquo;/usr/bin/maildrop\u0026rdquo;. Command\noutput: inews: cannot send article to server: 441 Can\u0026rsquo;t set system\n\u0026ldquo;X-Complaints-To\u0026rdquo; header inews: article not posted\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e","title":"Debian Lists vs. Mail2News-Gateways"},{"content":"Just a quick note:\nwhile wading through the list-archives, drop-boxes and list-configuration to find false positives and possiblities to optimise our mailinglists spam level i accidently removed the inclusion of our spamfilters from most lists.\nI appologise for this.\nLuckily zobel discovered my error and fixed it at 14:30 CET.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/spamwaves-on-lists-or-oops-i-did-it-again/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eJust a quick note:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ewhile wading through the list-archives, drop-boxes and list-configuration to find false positives and possiblities to optimise our mailinglists spam level i accidently removed the inclusion of our spamfilters from most lists.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI appologise for this.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLuckily zobel discovered my error and fixed it at 14:30 CET.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Spamwaves on Lists or 'oops, i did it again'"},{"content":"I\u0026rsquo;m just wadeing through Debian-Mailinglists on the search for enhancements and false-positives.\nand i just came over debian-security-announce, a lists that sends a helpful message back to submitters that aren\u0026rsquo;t allowed to send out advisories.\nThat message didn\u0026rsquo;t contain a Precedence-Header so i added one, and wondered which value would be appropriate\u0026hellip; I remember to have seen three values: \u0026lsquo;junk\u0026rsquo;, \u0026lsquo;bulk\u0026rsquo; and \u0026rsquo;list\u0026rsquo; (the latter should be set for all our Mailinglists).\nSo i tried the usual ways to find out about some more possible values, but i couldn\u0026rsquo;t find a RfC or another Document that describes correct usage of the Precedence-Header.\nSo, i set the Header to \u0026lsquo;junk\u0026rsquo; now, but if someone could point me to some documentation i would be thankful.\nUpdate: formorer pointed me to RFC 3834 - Recommendations for Automatic Responses to Electronic Mail which contains all of the things i needed to know. Thank you.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/precedence-mail-headers/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI\u0026rsquo;m just wadeing through Debian-Mailinglists on the search for enhancements and false-positives.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eand i just came over debian-security-announce, a lists that sends a helpful message back to submitters that aren\u0026rsquo;t allowed to send out advisories.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat message didn\u0026rsquo;t contain a Precedence-Header so i added one, and wondered which value would be appropriate\u0026hellip; I remember to have seen three values: \u0026lsquo;junk\u0026rsquo;, \u0026lsquo;bulk\u0026rsquo; and \u0026rsquo;list\u0026rsquo; (the latter should be set for all our Mailinglists).\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Precedence-Mail-Headers?"},{"content":"http://www.vorratsdatenspeicherung.de/\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/happy-new-year-its-1984-in-germany/","summary":"\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"https://www.vorratsdatenspeicherung.de/\"\u003ehttp://www.vorratsdatenspeicherung.de/\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Happy New Year, it's 1984 in Germany"},{"content":"after playing around a little bit with maemo inside scratchbox, i managed to break the packetsystem beyond repair\u0026hellip; so i wanted to start again, but the maemo-sdk-install_4.0.sh told me:\nE: You must close your other scratchbox sessions first\nso\u0026hellip; where to go from here?\nhttp://mg.pov.lt/maemo-irclog/%23maemo.2007-01-20.log.html knows it:\nsb-conf killall\nare the magic words. lets start again.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/scratchbox-you-must-close-your-other-scratchbox-sessions-first/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eafter playing around a little bit with maemo inside scratchbox, i managed to break the packetsystem beyond repair\u0026hellip; so i wanted to start again, but the maemo-sdk-install_4.0.sh told me:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eE: You must close your other scratchbox sessions first\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eso\u0026hellip; where to go from here?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"https://mg.pov.lt/maemo-irclog/%23maemo.2007-01-20.log.html\"\u003ehttp://mg.pov.lt/maemo-irclog/%23maemo.2007-01-20.log.html\u003c/a\u003e knows it:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003esb-conf killall\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eare the magic words. lets start again.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Scratchbox: You must close your other scratchbox sessions first"},{"content":"As i blogged before i\u0026rsquo;m going to be the happy (?) owner of a Nokia N810. On this device runs a Linux with a special distribution and there is also a Development SDK, which can be run on ia32-machines.\nThis SDK relies on Scratchbox, so i just downloaded and tried to install it. This works smoothly, they provide a shellscript, which downloads all needed components and feeds them to dpkg.\nBut, when i try to start Scratchbox i get\nInconsistency detected by ld.so: rtld.c: 1192: dl_main: Assertion `(void *) ph-\u0026gt;p_vaddr == _rtld_local._dl_sysinfo_dso\u0026rsquo; failed!\nafter some g00gleing, i finally found the solution here: [Scratchbox-users] Re: scratchbox doesn\u0026rsquo;t works any more.\nand the answer is: The kernel needs VDSO. This option is in Linux-Kernel-menuconfig in the \u0026lsquo;Processor type and features\u0026rsquo; submenu.\nThe help on that item shows:\nSay N here if you are running a sufficiently recent glibc version (2.3.3 or later), to remove the high-mapped VDSO mapping and to exclusively use the randomized VDSO.\nand so i switched it off. Ok, with on again now, lets find the next obstacle.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/scratchbox-inconsistency-detected-by-ldso/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eAs i blogged before \u003ca href=\"/en/blog/n810-maemo-submission-accepted\"\u003ei\u0026rsquo;m going to be the happy (?) owner of a Nokia N810\u003c/a\u003e. On this device runs a Linux with a special distribution and there is also a Development SDK, which can be run on ia32-machines.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis SDK relies on \u003ca href=\"http://scratchbox.org/\"\u003eScratchbox\u003c/a\u003e, so i just downloaded and tried to install it. This works smoothly, they provide a shellscript, which downloads all needed components and feeds them to dpkg.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut, when i try to start Scratchbox i get\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Scratchbox: Inconsistency detected by ld.so"},{"content":"Yes, I just received the following mail:\nCongratulations! You have been accepted to the N810 maemo device program. We will send your discount and instructions as soon as the device is available in your selected shop (soon).\nmaemo team - \u0026gt; http://maemo.org\nSo christmas is saved.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/n810-maemo-submission-accepted/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eYes, I just received the following mail:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCongratulations! You have been accepted to the N810 maemo device\nprogram. We will send your discount and instructions as soon as the\ndevice is available in your selected shop (soon).\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003emaemo team - \u003ca href=\"https://maemo.org\"\u003e\u0026gt; http://maemo.org\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo christmas is saved.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"N810 maemo submission accepted"},{"content":"Explaination for non German Readers: Today the german parliament passed an act, which orders all communication-connection data (caller-ids, times, email-communication, other internet-transactions) have to be stored for 6 months.\nMore info on vorratsdatenspeicherung.de\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/rip-telekommunikationsgeheimnis/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eExplaination for non German Readers: Today the german parliament passed an act, which orders all communication-connection data (caller-ids, times, email-communication, other internet-transactions) have to be stored for 6 months.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMore info on \u003ca href=\"https://www.vorratsdatenspeicherung.de/\"\u003evorratsdatenspeicherung.de\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e","title":"RIP Telekommunikationsgeheimnis"},{"content":"it sometimes funny, i\u0026rsquo;m working with mutt since about 10 years, (the 5 years before i was using elm) and just found out how i can view pure text/html-Mails without fiddeling with piping and things.\nset implicit_autoview\nin .muttrc does the trick.\nbut now mutt also prefers the text/html-part of multipart/alternative-mails, this is going to far for me. i want the text/plain-part if available. mutt has also a solution here:\nalternative_order text/plain text/html\nand done. no more piping to html2text. One day i\u0026rsquo;ll read through the whole manual again\u0026hellip;\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/mutt-autoviewing-text-html/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eit sometimes funny, i\u0026rsquo;m working with mutt since about 10 years, (the 5 years before i was using elm) and just found out how i can view pure text/html-Mails without fiddeling with piping and things.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eset implicit_autoview\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ein .muttrc does the trick.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ebut now mutt also prefers the text/html-part of multipart/alternative-mails, this is going to far for me. i want the text/plain-part if available. mutt has also a solution here:\u003c/p\u003e","title":"mutt: autoviewing text/html"},{"content":"I have no idea how the other major MTAs handle this, but sendmail seems to issue an ident-auth-request on each connect it gets.\nAs i think this is rather useless, as most hosts don\u0026rsquo;t answer it, and, even if they would, the answer is easily fakeable, i switched it off.\nadding\ndefine(confTO_IDENT', 0\u0026rsquo;)dnl\nto /etc/mail/sendmail.mc disables this. Sadly this isn\u0026rsquo;t documented, for confTO_IDENT it only states\nThe timeout waiting for a response to an IDENT query.\nthanks goes to http://sial.org/howto/sendmail/tips/\naddendum: \u0026lsquo;Your Name\u0026rsquo; in the comments is right. ident is still of some use on multiuser-systems to the local admin. But in the field of Internet-mailservers it is useless.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/sendmail-uses-ident-by-default/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI have no idea how the other major MTAs handle this, but sendmail seems to issue an ident-auth-request on each connect it gets.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAs i think this is rather useless, as most hosts don\u0026rsquo;t answer it, and, even if they would, the answer is easily fakeable, i switched it off.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eadding\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003edefine(\u003ccode\u003econfTO_IDENT', \u003c/code\u003e0\u0026rsquo;)dnl\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eto /etc/mail/sendmail.mc disables this. Sadly this isn\u0026rsquo;t documented, for confTO_IDENT it only states\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe timeout waiting for a response to an IDENT query.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e","title":"sendmail uses ident by default"},{"content":"From time to time we have the problem that a mail posted to a list triggers an autoresponse (vacation, bounce, tdma) from an unexpected source. Sometimes it isn\u0026rsquo;t possible to identify the subscriber who is causing this. One example for this was \u0026ldquo;petsupermarket\u0026rdquo;.\nSo i wrote a small tool, which takes Mailadresses as input and resolves the domains until it reaches IP-level, so it is possible to identify \u0026ldquo;related\u0026rdquo; addresses to such an incident.\nI now ran this tool for all 38656 domainparts mailadresses that are currently subscribed to some list at our listservers:\nUnresolveable Domains : 443 Grounded Domains : 3 Domains with A : 1058 Domains with CNAME, A : 59 Domains with CNAME, CNAME, A : 3 Domains with MX, A : 36202 Domains with MX, CNAME, A : 1199 Domains with MX, CNAME, CNAME, A : 22 Domains with MX, CNAME, CNAME, CNAME, A : 5 Domains with MX, PTR : 36 Domains with unresolvable Hosts : 361\n(You may have noticed that those lines doesn\u0026rsquo;t sum up to 38656. It is possible to have more than one MX-Host, and it is also possible to have more than one IP in an A-Record. If one of those combinations falls into another category it is counted twice)\nso we have 36528 domains that are completely configured correctly according to RfC 2821 with a MX-Record pointing to an A-Record, or without a MX-Record and an A-Record. These are 94.5% of all domains.\nbut we have 443 domains in our list, that didn\u0026rsquo;t resolve at the moment i ran my script, those have to be investigated.\nWe also have 3 domains that are configured with \u0026lsquo;IN MX 0 .\u0026rsquo; as decribed in this expired Draft, those also have to be investigated, and thrown out.\nWe have 1288 domains, which use CNAMEs (or CNAMEs pointing to CNAMEs) in their MX or directly on their domainname. RFC1034 says:\nDomain names in RRs which point at another name should always point at the primary name and not the alias. This avoids extra indirections in accessing information.\nthen there are 36 domains which point their MX directly to an IP-Number. RFC 1035 says:\n3.3.9. MX RDATA format\n+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+ | PREFERENCE | +\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+ / EXCHANGE / / / +\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\u0026ndash;+\nwhere:\nPREFERENCE A 16 bit integer which specifies the preference given to this RR among others at the same owner. Lower values are preferred.\nEXCHANGE A \u0026lt;domain-name\u0026gt; which specifies a host willing to act as a mail exchange for the owner name.\nMX records cause type A additional section processing for the host specified by EXCHANGE.\nSo according to that an MX has to point explicitely to a Full Qualified Domain Name, and it has to be an A-Record it points to.\nHowever: Most MTAs (including ours) these days forgive this, and figure out the right thing.\nAt last: we have 361 Domains which MX and/or CNAME-Records point to Hostnames that are currently unresolvable. A quick check shows that often the problems only appear on one MX-Record, while another is correct, so the service is functional.\nSo maybe now it is a good idea and check your own DNS-Setup and the Mail-related Data.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/analysis-of-subscribed-domains-on-debian-listserver/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eFrom time to time we have the problem that a mail posted to a list triggers an autoresponse (vacation, bounce, tdma) from an unexpected source. Sometimes it isn\u0026rsquo;t possible to identify the subscriber who is causing this. One example for this was \u0026ldquo;petsupermarket\u0026rdquo;.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo i wrote a small tool, which takes Mailadresses as input and resolves the domains until it reaches IP-level, so it is possible to identify \u0026ldquo;related\u0026rdquo; addresses to such an incident.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Analysis of subscribed Domains on Debian-Listserver"},{"content":"Every two weeks i get this:\n$ xterm \u0026amp; Xlib: connection to \u0026#34;:0.0\u0026#34; refused by server Xlib: Maximum number of clients reached xterm Xt error: Can\u0026#39;t open display: :0.0 and it looks that something eats up the possible number of Clients:\n$ xlsclients |wc -l 56 when i restart X i can open about 100 xterms until i reach the error message.\nideas?\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/xlib-maximum-number-of-clients-reached/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eEvery two weeks i get this:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cpre tabindex=\"0\"\u003e\u003ccode\u003e$ xterm \u0026amp;\nXlib: connection to \u0026#34;:0.0\u0026#34; refused by server\nXlib: Maximum number of clients reached\nxterm Xt error: Can\u0026#39;t open display: :0.0\n\u003c/code\u003e\u003c/pre\u003e\u003cp\u003eand it looks that something eats up the possible number of Clients:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cpre tabindex=\"0\"\u003e\u003ccode\u003e$ xlsclients |wc -l\n56\n\u003c/code\u003e\u003c/pre\u003e\u003cp\u003ewhen i restart X i can open about 100 xterms until i reach the error message.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eideas?\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Xlib: Maximum number of clients reached"},{"content":"The German parliament changed the law on 25th may 2007.\nIt\u0026rsquo;s now forbidden to build, program, give, distribute or get software, which can be used to attack computers. that\u0026rsquo;s something i do on a daily basis. (think nmap)\nso it is only a question of time that i get caught.\nGerman pressrelease of the CCC\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/im-a-criminal/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eThe German parliament changed the law on 25th may 2007.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt\u0026rsquo;s now forbidden to build, program, give, distribute or get software, which can be used to attack computers. that\u0026rsquo;s something i do on a daily basis. (think nmap)\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eso it is only a question of time that i get caught.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"https://www.ccc.de/updates/2007/paragraph-202c?language=en\"\u003eGerman pressrelease of the CCC\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e","title":"I'm a criminal"},{"content":"We found out that Simple PHP Blog, the software that is used for this Blog, can\u0026rsquo;t be packaged for Debian at the moment, because the License looks like this:\nThe Simple PHP Blog is released under the GNU Public License.\nYou are free to use and modify the Simple PHP Blog. All changes must be uploaded to SourceForge.net under Simple PHP Blog.\nCredit must be give to the original author and the Simple PHP Blog logo graphic must appear on the site and link to the project on SourceForge.net\nSo problems are (as far as i understand):\nthe GPL isn\u0026rsquo;t referred to correctly (also the GPL isn\u0026rsquo;t included in the source distribution) Upstream wants all changes uploaded again on sourceforge, and doesn\u0026rsquo;t mention what is about redistribution of modified code. Upstream denies the specific modification of removing the Logo and the Link to Sourceforge. So i tried to explain this politely to Upstream, I hope he honors my request, as i really like this piece of software and want to see it in Debian.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/packaging-simple-php-blog-postponed/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eWe found out that Simple PHP Blog, the software that is used for this Blog, can\u0026rsquo;t be packaged for Debian at the moment, because the License looks like this:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe Simple PHP Blog is released under the GNU Public License.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eYou are free to use and modify the Simple PHP Blog. All changes must be uploaded to SourceForge.net under Simple PHP Blog.\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eCredit must be give to the original author and the Simple PHP Blog logo graphic must appear on the site and link to the project on SourceForge.net\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Packaging Simple PHP Blog postponed"},{"content":"Do you know this?\nyou write a brilliant entry for a blog, a blog-comment or something in a textarea-field in your browser.\nafter finished, you press the Send-Button, and \u0026hellip; the browser crashes, or nothing happens because Javacript or Cookies were disabled in your browser.\nthe result is, the brilliant text you just wrote by investing time has gone to bit-heaven.\nHas anyone a solution for this, beside writing in a text-editor, pasting it over to the textarea, fighting against linebreaks and things?\nI once tried Editus Externus a Firefox extension, but that one produces a lot of problems in the fight iso-8859-x vs. utf8, and the linewrap problem is also there.\nSo how can i make sure that the things i type in a textarea aren\u0026rsquo;t lost, when my cookie expires, Javascript sucks or my Browser dies?\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/browsercrash-sucks-loosing-work-even-more/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eDo you know this?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eyou write a brilliant entry for a blog, a blog-comment or something in a textarea-field in your browser.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eafter finished, you press the Send-Button, and \u0026hellip; the browser crashes, or nothing happens because Javacript or Cookies were disabled in your browser.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ethe result is, the brilliant text you just wrote by investing time has gone to bit-heaven.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHas anyone a solution for this, beside writing in a text-editor, pasting it over to the textarea, fighting against linebreaks and things?\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Browsercrash sucks - loosing work even more"},{"content":" you see my Spamstats for the time i run an own server for my domain.\nThe input consists mainly from cord@Wunder-Nett.org that is in existence since mid-1996, and a (tuned) catch all on cord.de.\nUnreadable is the stuff encoded as russian, chinese, korean, \u0026hellip; Backscatter are Bounces due to misused Mailadresses. Virusspam is the stuff ClamAV catches. Spam is recognized by bogofilter Dupes were Mails with the same Message-Id in a short time period. Ham are those messages that survived the other filters. In 05/2004 i had a big downtime due to broken Harddisk and/or cheap IDE-Cables (which was finally solved in 2006). In 11/2004 i became Debian-Listmaster, and forwarded the listmaster-mails to my system. In 08/2005 i stopped forwarding listmaster-Mail and the admin-mail from LUG-OWL and let them drop into a local Mailbox on the specific servers. In 06/2006 The power supply of my server died, and HaJo had a fitting spare device, so i took it to the local hardware gods (C\u0026amp;M sorry, only Flash) and they implanted it, they also replaced all Fans (6 of which 4 were stuck) and replaced the IDE-Cables. Now i even could switch on DMA without risking a crash. (Man, 3years of crippled server). As you see, the system is now able to accept even more spam. In 12/2006 i added greylisting on my server. My 2nd MX currently doesn\u0026rsquo;t do greylisting.\nManagement-summary: With massive filtering i can keep mail somewhat useable for me.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/private-spamstats-april-2007/","summary":"\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/media/gkrellShoot_05-04-07_215356.png\"\u003e\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" src=\"/media/gkrellShoot_05-04-07_215356.png\" alt=\"\"  /\u003e\n\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eyou see my Spamstats for the time i run an own server for my domain.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe input consists mainly from \u003ca href=\"mailto:cord@Wunder-Nett.org\"\u003ecord@Wunder-Nett.org\u003c/a\u003e that is in existence since mid-1996, and a (tuned) catch all on cord.de.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnreadable is the stuff encoded as russian, chinese, korean, \u0026hellip;\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBackscatter are Bounces due to misused Mailadresses.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eVirusspam is the stuff \u003ca href=\"https://clamav.net\"\u003eClamAV\u003c/a\u003e catches.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSpam is recognized by bogofilter\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDupes were Mails with the same Message-Id in a short time period.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHam are those messages that survived the other filters.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn 05/2004 i had a big downtime due to broken Harddisk and/or cheap IDE-Cables (which was finally solved in 2006).\nIn 11/2004 i became Debian-Listmaster, and forwarded the listmaster-mails to my system.\nIn 08/2005 i stopped forwarding listmaster-Mail and the admin-mail from \u003ca href=\"https://lug-owl.de\"\u003eLUG-OWL\u003c/a\u003e and let them drop into a local Mailbox on the specific servers.\nIn 06/2006 The power supply of my server died, and HaJo had a fitting spare device, so i took it to the local hardware gods (\u003ca href=\"https://www.cm-net.de/\"\u003eC\u0026amp;M\u003c/a\u003e sorry, only Flash) and they implanted it, they also replaced all Fans (6 of which 4 were stuck) and replaced the IDE-Cables. Now i even could switch on DMA without risking a crash. (Man, 3years of crippled server). As you see, the system is now able to accept even more spam.\nIn 12/2006 i added greylisting on my server. My 2nd MX currently doesn\u0026rsquo;t do greylisting.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"private Spamstats April 2007"},{"content":"Hi.\nWe were notified that German DWN, and the Original DWN weren\u0026rsquo;t sent out. Investigation showed that Diplomats (in German translation Diplomaten) matched the bad word \u0026lsquo;Diploma\u0026rsquo;, so it is dropped in our spambox.\nI resent German DWN yesterday and the Original DWN some minutes ago.\nsorry for the inconvinience.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/debian-weekly-news-is-late-blame-listmasters/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eHi.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe were notified that German DWN, and the Original DWN weren\u0026rsquo;t sent out. Investigation showed that Diplomats (in German translation Diplomaten) matched the bad word \u0026lsquo;Diploma\u0026rsquo;, so it is dropped in our spambox.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI resent German DWN yesterday and the Original DWN some minutes ago.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003esorry for the inconvinience.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Debian Weekly News is late? - Blame listmasters!"},{"content":"We get regular requests from Gmail-Users that don\u0026rsquo;t receive their own mails back, when they post something on a mailinglist to which they are subscribed.\nSo if this happens to you, first check if your mail shows up in our mailarchive.\nIf it appears there (wait some time that the archive can catch up) your mail has been successfully posted to the list, and your copy has also been send and is most likely accepted by Gmail. But Gmail seems to drop that mail internally (or sort it in a spamdropbox?) maybe because From and Receipient-address are the same. (We get two or three requests of that kind per week, and everytime we investigated, we found this is the case)\nIf it doesn\u0026rsquo;t appear in the Mailarchive and your mail has been accepted by our mailserver murphy.debian.org, you most likely have lost against our Spamfiltering. (Did you know that ControlExtension matches the string Rolex?).\nThen feel free to report to listmaster@lists.debian.org and provide as much info about your lost mail as possible, helpful would be:\nyour IP the time you send (including Timezone / difference to GMT) the Message-Id your from-address and the to-address Keep flamemailing.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/listmaster-vs-gmail/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eWe get regular requests from Gmail-Users that don\u0026rsquo;t receive their own mails back, when they post something on a mailinglist to which they are subscribed.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo if this happens to you, first check if your mail shows up in \u003ca href=\"https://lists.debian.org/\"\u003eour mailarchive\u003c/a\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf it appears there (wait some time that the archive can catch up) your mail has been successfully posted to the list, and your copy has also been send and is most likely accepted by Gmail. But Gmail seems to drop that mail internally (or sort it in a spamdropbox?) maybe because From and Receipient-address are the same. (We get two or three requests of that kind per week, and everytime we investigated, we found this is the case)\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Listmaster vs. Gmail"},{"content":"I sometimes find myself in a state that needs to write out what i feel or mean to a topic. So i decided to establish an own blog. And here it is.\nI read for some time the Blogs of my friends and cow-orkers corona (fimpern.de no longer active) and wusel (blogdoch.net no longer active) and both decided to use this nice Blogsoftware called Simple PHP Blog (project defunct). It is very featureful, but the deciding thing is, that it doesn\u0026rsquo;t need a Database running in the Background.\nAs this package isn\u0026rsquo;t available from Debian yet, i made a package of it, and applied as Maintainer (see Debian-BTS #421513).\nI will wait some days and will then upload the package. For now you can find it at http://debian.cord.de. The package is currently usable for stable, testing and unstable.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/blog-established/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI sometimes find myself in a state that needs to write out what i feel or mean to a topic. So i decided to establish an own blog. And here it is.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI read for some time the Blogs of my friends and cow-orkers \u003cdel\u003ecorona\u003c/del\u003e \u003cem\u003e(fimpern.de no longer active)\u003c/em\u003e and \u003cdel\u003ewusel\u003c/del\u003e \u003cem\u003e(blogdoch.net no longer active)\u003c/em\u003e and both decided to use this nice Blogsoftware called \u003cdel\u003eSimple PHP Blog\u003c/del\u003e \u003cem\u003e(project defunct)\u003c/em\u003e. It is very featureful, but the deciding thing is, that it doesn\u0026rsquo;t need a Database running in the Background.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Blog established"},{"content":"work the 4th day at the new company Mediaways\u0026hellip; all in all it is the same as my previous employer ABACOM, the main difference by now is that it had 20 times more employees and a better internet connection ;-)\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/advogato-diary-5-jan-2001/","summary":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ework\u003c/strong\u003e\nthe 4th day at the new company \u003ca href=\"http://www.mediaways.net\"\u003eMediaways\u003c/a\u003e\u0026hellip; all in all it is the same as my previous employer \u003ca href=\"http://www.abacom.net\"\u003eABACOM\u003c/a\u003e, the main difference by now is that it had 20 times more employees and a better internet connection ;-)\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Advogato Diary: 5 Jan 2001"},{"content":"ok\u0026hellip; i tried to write before, but my Netscape shit itself and i don\u0026rsquo;t wanted to start over again\u0026hellip; ok, now i try lynx and here we go:\nhome i\u0026rsquo;m happy that i found a new home yesterday. Now the stress starts\u0026hellip; moving\u0026hellip; buying furniture, install infrastructure \u0026hellip;\nDebian after a long time thinking about it, i\u0026rsquo;ve now applied to become a Debian Maintainer\u0026hellip; stay tuned.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/advogato-diary-13-dec-2000/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eok\u0026hellip; i tried to write before, but my Netscape shit itself and i don\u0026rsquo;t wanted to start over again\u0026hellip; ok, now i try \u003ca href=\"https://lynx.browser.org\"\u003elynx\u003c/a\u003e and here we go:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ehome\u003c/strong\u003e\ni\u0026rsquo;m happy that i found a new home yesterday. Now the stress starts\u0026hellip; moving\u0026hellip; buying furniture, install infrastructure \u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDebian\u003c/strong\u003e\nafter a long time thinking about it, i\u0026rsquo;ve now applied to become a Debian Maintainer\u0026hellip; stay tuned.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Advogato Diary: 13 Dec 2000"},{"content":"hmmm\u0026hellip; long time not here. ok. what\u0026rsquo;s on:\nCalamaris Calamaris is now stable on V2.40. I\u0026rsquo;ve asked on the announcement-Mailinglist if i should move development to Sourceforge, but no response :-/\nSun-Monitor The Master of Monitors found a bug, fixed it and it worked\u0026hellip; for a few hours\u0026hellip; then something else broke\u0026hellip; not heared about it\u0026hellip; going to bug him next week again.\nwork still trying to find a new domicile, but it\u0026rsquo;s not easy to find something that\u0026rsquo;s big enough for my girl-friend and me. (she\u0026rsquo;s piano teacher). still trying.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/advogato-diary-3-nov-2000/","summary":"\u003cp\u003ehmmm\u0026hellip; long time not here. ok. what\u0026rsquo;s on:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca href=\"/en/calamaris\"\u003eCalamaris\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/strong\u003e\nCalamaris is now stable on V2.40. I\u0026rsquo;ve asked on the announcement-Mailinglist if i should move development to Sourceforge, but no response :-/\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSun-Monitor\u003c/strong\u003e\nThe Master of Monitors found a bug, fixed it and it worked\u0026hellip; for a few hours\u0026hellip; then something else broke\u0026hellip; not heared about it\u0026hellip; going to bug him next week again.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ework\u003c/strong\u003e\nstill trying to find a new domicile, but it\u0026rsquo;s not easy to find something that\u0026rsquo;s big enough for my girl-friend and me. (she\u0026rsquo;s piano teacher). still trying.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Advogato Diary: 3 Nov 2000"},{"content":"Calamaris so i decided to call the last beta-version \u0026lsquo;stable\u0026rsquo;, and promptly someone finds a bug\u0026hellip; ok, easy to fix\u0026hellip; and yet another release\u0026hellip; i think (again) that the next step for Calamaris is adding graphics\u0026hellip;\nCoCaLoRes after releasing a first beta a few weeks ago, i now decided to announce it at Freshmeat. Now let\u0026rsquo;s see how big the \u0026lsquo;Freshmeat-Effect\u0026rsquo; is\u0026hellip; Those Sourceforge tools are nice.\nSparc-Monitor Now a had to bring a Sparc-computer to the repair-shop, to check if the replacement tube out of an IBM-Monitor (it\u0026rsquo;s all Sony) is working\u0026hellip; it does\u0026hellip; for 2 minutes, then it went dark\u0026hellip; hope that they find the bug and they are able to fix it.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/advogato-diary-13-oct-2000/","summary":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca href=\"/en/calamaris\"\u003eCalamaris\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/strong\u003e\nso i decided to call the last beta-version \u0026lsquo;stable\u0026rsquo;, and promptly someone finds a bug\u0026hellip; ok, easy to fix\u0026hellip; and yet another release\u0026hellip; i think (again) that the next step for Calamaris is adding graphics\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca href=\"https://cocalores.sourceforge.net/\"\u003eCoCaLoRes\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/strong\u003e\nafter releasing a first beta a few weeks ago, i now decided to announce it at \u003ca href=\"https://freshmeat.net\"\u003eFreshmeat\u003c/a\u003e. Now let\u0026rsquo;s see how big the \u0026lsquo;Freshmeat-Effect\u0026rsquo; is\u0026hellip; Those \u003ca href=\"https://sourceforge.net\"\u003eSourceforge\u003c/a\u003e tools are nice.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSparc-Monitor\u003c/strong\u003e\nNow a had to bring a Sparc-computer to the repair-shop, to check if the replacement tube out of an IBM-Monitor (it\u0026rsquo;s all Sony) is working\u0026hellip; it does\u0026hellip; for 2 minutes, then it went dark\u0026hellip; hope that they find the bug and they are able to fix it.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Advogato Diary: 13 Oct 2000"},{"content":"Calamaris It looks like the current beta-Version is stable, so i\u0026rsquo;m going to promote it in the next days.\nCocalores I\u0026rsquo;ve started a new project over at Sourceforge: Cocalores is the Configurable caching logfile resolver, a small tool which runs fine for me, and should parse every kind of logfile with fixed fields as in Common Log oder Squid Native Log.\nWithout arguments it should work like Apaches logresolve, with arguments you can specify which field in the log should be lookuped, where it should cache and how long it should cache once lookuped data.\nthe other thing i want to do with Cocalores, is to test the abilities of Sourceforge.\nWunder-Nett-Relay-Party Last weekend i met (after a long time) most members of our small IRC-Network including rince and Elrond. It was a nice weekend, without running computers and with cold beer. Thanks people ;-) Hope that we meet again soon.\nSun-Monitor the Monitor is now in a repair-shop\u0026hellip; the tube is broken, hope they can build another one in \u0026hellip;\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/advogato-diary-25-sep-2000/","summary":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca href=\"https://advogato.org/proj/Calamaris\"\u003eCalamaris\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/strong\u003e\nIt looks like the current beta-Version is stable, so i\u0026rsquo;m going to promote it in the next days.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca href=\"https://sourceforge.net/projects/cocalores/\"\u003eCocalores\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/strong\u003e\nI\u0026rsquo;ve started a new project over at Sourceforge: Cocalores is the \u003cstrong\u003eCo\u003c/strong\u003enfigurable \u003cstrong\u003eca\u003c/strong\u003eching \u003cstrong\u003elo\u003c/strong\u003egfile \u003cstrong\u003eres\u003c/strong\u003eolver, a small tool which runs fine for me, and should parse every kind of logfile with fixed fields as in Common Log oder Squid Native Log.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWithout arguments it should work like \u003ca href=\"https://advogato.org/proj/Apache\"\u003eApache\u003c/a\u003es logresolve, with arguments you can specify which field in the log should be lookuped, where it should cache and how long it should cache once lookuped data.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Advogato Diary: 25 Sep 2000"},{"content":"Calamaris Build another beta of Calamaris and fixed parsing of Extended LogFileFormat for use with the Novell Internet Caching Service and its relatives.\nSPARCstation 5 So, that Solaris could hold its position for ca. 2 more hours and than i installed Debian GNU/Linux. While transporting that monster to my car the monitor fell off my waggon\u0026hellip; now it\u0026rsquo;s broken :-( Pissed for that weekend. Now it\u0026rsquo;s getting slowly better\u0026hellip; sigh\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/advogato-diary-15-sep-2000/","summary":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca href=\"http://Calamaris.Cord.de\"\u003eCalamaris\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/strong\u003e\nBuild another beta of Calamaris and fixed parsing of Extended LogFileFormat for use with the Novell Internet Caching Service and its relatives.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSPARCstation 5\u003c/strong\u003e\nSo, that Solaris could hold its position for ca. 2 more hours and than i installed Debian GNU/Linux. While transporting that monster to my car the monitor fell off my waggon\u0026hellip; now it\u0026rsquo;s broken \u003cstrong\u003e:-(\u003c/strong\u003e Pissed for that weekend. Now it\u0026rsquo;s getting slowly better\u0026hellip; \u003cem\u003esigh\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Advogato Diary: 15 Sep 2000"},{"content":"Telco\nI can\u0026rsquo;t believe it\u0026hellip; they fixed it within 26 hours. As far as i can see, the cable was broken somewhere where they build a cycleway or something\u0026hellip;\nSPARCstation 5 I got it\u0026hellip; i\u0026rsquo;m going to call it kurn as my other computers are named worf, alexander, mogh and jadzia\u0026hellip; it has 64MB RAM and a 1Gig harddisk and now there is Solaris 2.7 on it\u0026hellip; let\u0026rsquo;s see how long it takes that i wipe that out ;-)\nSPARCstation 1+ I tried to use the graphiccard from the 5 on the 1+ but that doesn\u0026rsquo;t seem to work\u0026hellip; i think that i have to keep it to my friend Gerold and hope that he knows a way to hack that SunOS 4.1\u0026hellip;\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/advogato-diary-5-sep-2000/","summary":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTelco\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI can\u0026rsquo;t believe it\u0026hellip; they fixed it within 26 hours. As far as i can see, the cable was broken somewhere where they build a cycleway or something\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSPARCstation 5\u003c/strong\u003e\nI got it\u0026hellip; i\u0026rsquo;m going to call it kurn as my other computers are named worf, alexander,\nmogh and jadzia\u0026hellip; it has 64MB RAM and a 1Gig harddisk and now there is Solaris 2.7 on it\u0026hellip; let\u0026rsquo;s see how long it takes that i wipe that out ;-)\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Advogato Diary: 5 Sep 2000"},{"content":"Telco\nFsck! they did it again\u0026hellip; they cut off the whole village i live in from telephone service\u0026hellip; (Last time is 9 months ago\u0026hellip; it took 4 days before they started to work on the problem.) No Internet@$HOME since sunday afternoon\u0026hellip; calling the service-hotline with the cell phone\u0026hellip; after 30 minutes hanging on the phone listing an annoying melody and random disconnects i get an automatic \u0026lsquo;sorry: this number cannot reached from your phone\u0026rsquo; WHAT? why could i call that number in the 30 minutes before without that message? Fsck. Switching over to the business hotline\u0026hellip; after another 15 minutes hanging on the phone listening that annoying melody and random disconnects i finally reach someone and earn an \u0026lsquo;i assign a technican for tuesday afternoon or so\u0026rsquo;. hrmpf this sucks. (note to self: sell the stocks of Deutsche Telekom ASAP)\nUpdate: PRAISE THE LORD! I got someone who was able to tell me what\u0026rsquo;s going wrong with the phone\u0026hellip; and it is just 24 hours after i\u0026rsquo;ve called to tell them that something\u0026rsquo;s broken. It looks like a cable is broken. I bet that it\u0026rsquo;s broken at the same point as the last time (see above.)\nLinux-Users-Group tonight is the meeting of the LUG-OWL and i hopefully get there another computer for my net@$HOME. This brings the number of my computers up to five ;-). There are\nan AMD386DX40 with 32MB RAM and 1GB Harddisk in a XT-case an Intel486SX25 Laptop with 12MB and 100MB Harddisk an AMD-Athlon500 with 64MB RAM and 8GB Harddisk a Sun SPARCstation 1+ which doesn\u0026rsquo;t work yet. and those working run Debian.\nThe new one is a Sun Sparc 5 with monitor etc. I hope that i can find out whats wrong with the 1+ by plugging in the graphic card from the Sparc 5 in it\u0026hellip; (the 1+ is headless.) stay tuned.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/advogato-diary-4-sep-2000/","summary":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTelco\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFsck! they did it again\u0026hellip; they cut off the whole village i live in from telephone service\u0026hellip; (Last time is 9 months ago\u0026hellip; it took 4 days before they started to work on the problem.) No Internet@$HOME since sunday afternoon\u0026hellip; calling the service-hotline with the cell phone\u0026hellip; after 30 minutes hanging on the phone listing an annoying melody and random disconnects i get an automatic \u0026lsquo;sorry: this number cannot reached from your phone\u0026rsquo; WHAT? why could i call that number in the 30 minutes before without that message? Fsck. Switching over to the business hotline\u0026hellip; after another 15 minutes hanging on the phone listening that annoying melody and random disconnects i finally reach someone and earn an \u0026lsquo;i assign a technican for tuesday afternoon or so\u0026rsquo;. \u003cem\u003ehrmpf\u003c/em\u003e this sucks. (note to self: sell the stocks of \u003ca href=\"http://www.dtag.de/\"\u003eDeutsche Telekom\u003c/a\u003e ASAP)\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Advogato Diary: 4 Sep 2000"},{"content":"Calamaris\nfinally: another beta-release of Calamaris. changes:\nbug fix on logfile-guessing. rudimentary support for Netscape Extended-Logfiles. I only had 7 lines of Logfile of that, so if someone have such a beast somewhere, it would be nice if he can provide me with a few hundred lines, so i can check and improve\u0026hellip;\nAdvogato.org\nHow can i read older entries like in http://advogato.org/recentlog.html ? Maybe a function like in Freshmeats reset function?\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/advogato-diary-3-sep-2000/","summary":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca href=\"http://Calamaris.Cord.de\"\u003eCalamaris\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003efinally: another beta-release of Calamaris. changes:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ebug fix on logfile-guessing.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003erudimentary support for Netscape Extended-Logfiles.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI only had 7 lines of Logfile of that, so if someone have such a beast somewhere, it would be nice if he can provide me with a few hundred lines, so i can check and improve\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAdvogato.org\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow can i read older entries like in \u003ca href=\"https://advogato.org/recentlog.html\"\u003ehttp://advogato.org/recentlog.html\u003c/a\u003e ?\nMaybe a function like in \u003ca href=\"https://freshmeat.net\"\u003eFreshmeats\u003c/a\u003e reset function?\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Advogato Diary: 3 Sep 2000"},{"content":"Calamaris\nFound the time to look over the sources and found that in the current unstable is a bug\u0026hellip; and that in the next unstable this bug is fixed and introduced another\u0026hellip; no fun\u0026hellip; hope i can fix this this weekend and release another unstable\u0026hellip; Those people i asked for support, after they reported me a bug or something, don\u0026rsquo;t move\u0026hellip; still no Netscape Proxy Extended-2 Logfile-snippet there. The hacker who added graphics seemed to be not ready in beautifying the code\u0026hellip; it\u0026rsquo;s a long way to V3\u0026hellip; sigh\njLoki\nI think that every company has customers that are ill reputed somewhere\u0026hellip; as mediaWays presumable bought by Telefonica (link unchecked) next year, you cannot say, whose slave i\u0026rsquo;m going to be then. (note to self: buy a spanish dictonary). My main reason to go to mediaWays is their location. I\u0026rsquo;m a Landei and i think that this won\u0026rsquo;t change in my life\u0026hellip; mediaWays is located between a small city (Verl) and a little bigger city (Gütersloh) but it is one of the leading companies in this sector in germany. And I could interest them in hiring me, so why should i say no?\nI hope there is nice living, a good job for my girlfriend, and a little more time for a Open Source Projects\u0026hellip;\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/advogato-diary-1-sep-2000/","summary":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca href=\"http://Calamaris.Cord.de/\"\u003eCalamaris\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFound the time to look over the sources and found that in the current unstable is a bug\u0026hellip; and that in the next unstable this bug is fixed and introduced another\u0026hellip; no fun\u0026hellip; hope i can fix this this weekend and release another unstable\u0026hellip; Those people i asked for support, after they reported me a bug or something, don\u0026rsquo;t move\u0026hellip; still no Netscape Proxy Extended-2 Logfile-snippet there. The hacker who added graphics seemed to be not ready in beautifying the code\u0026hellip; it\u0026rsquo;s a long way to V3\u0026hellip; \u003cem\u003esigh\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Advogato Diary: 1 Sep 2000"},{"content":"First Post! duck\nLUG-mailserver\nI\u0026rsquo;m just building the mailinglists on the new server of my LUG. The server is a 10 years old alpha with Debian on it\u0026hellip; my chosen Mailinglistsoftware is Mailman.\nCalamaris\nI also have to work on Calamaris towards the next stable release\u0026hellip; there are a few bugreports pending, but some people who i asked for Logfiles or tests didn\u0026rsquo;t respond yet (since two months?). Maybe i should fix that what i know yet and put it out as \u0026lsquo;stable\u0026rsquo;? hits on my statistic still show the last stable ahead of the current so-called unstable version.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/blog/advogato-diary-30-aug-2000/","summary":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFirst Post!\u003c/strong\u003e \u003cem\u003educk\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLUG-mailserver\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI\u0026rsquo;m just building the mailinglists on the new server of my \u003ca href=\"https://www.lug-owl.de\"\u003eLUG\u003c/a\u003e. The server is a 10 years old alpha with Debian on it\u0026hellip; my chosen Mailinglistsoftware is \u003ca href=\"https://www.list.org\"\u003eMailman\u003c/a\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCalamaris\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI also have to work on \u003ca href=\"http://Calamaris.Cord.de/\"\u003eCalamaris\u003c/a\u003e towards the next stable release\u0026hellip; there are a few bugreports pending, but some people who i asked for Logfiles or tests didn\u0026rsquo;t respond yet (since two months?). Maybe i should fix that what i know yet and put it out as \u0026lsquo;stable\u0026rsquo;? hits on \u003ca href=\"/en\"\u003emy statistic\u003c/a\u003e still show the last stable ahead of the current so-called unstable version.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Advogato Diary: 30 Aug 2000"},{"content":"I was a good computer programmer and a new college student.\nI was trying to find the BASIC compiler and could not. Sooo\u0026hellip; I call the operator (I did not know it was the BOFH.)\nPhone rings\u0026hellip;\u0026ldquo;Hello\u0026rdquo; BOFH\n\u0026ldquo;Who is this?\u0026rdquo; Me.\n\u0026ldquo;It\u0026rsquo;s me I think\u0026rdquo; BOFH\nNo joke turkey breath. I think.\n\u0026ldquo;Me Who?\u0026rdquo; Me.\n\u0026ldquo;Is this like a knock knock joke?\u0026rdquo; BOFH.\nI think \u0026ldquo;This guy is missing a few brain cells\u0026rdquo; [Bad assumption on my part].\n\u0026ldquo;What can I do for you\u0026rdquo; BOFH.\nBoy is he talking nice, must be ok after all. I think.\n\u0026ldquo;Um, I want to know if we have a particular software package\u0026hellip;.?\u0026rdquo; Me.\n\u0026ldquo;Which package is that?\u0026rdquo; BOFH\n\u0026ldquo;Uh, B-A-S-I-C it\u0026rsquo;s called.\u0026rdquo; Me.\nI hear \u0026gt;clickety, clickety\u0026lt; in the background. Good, the turkey is checking for it.\n\u0026ldquo;Um no, we don\u0026rsquo;t have that. We used to though.\u0026rdquo; BOFH\nThat funny I say to myself, the instructor said it was on the system.\n\u0026ldquo;Oh. Oh well, the other thing I wanted to know was, could the contents of my account be copied to tape so I have a permanent copy of them to save at home in case the worst happens..\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;The worst?\u0026rdquo; BOFH\n\u0026ldquo;Well, like they get deleted or something\u0026hellip;\u0026rdquo; Me.\n\u0026ldquo;DELETED! Oh, don\u0026rsquo;t worry about that, we have backup!. What was your username?\u0026rdquo;\nI give him my username. \u0026gt;clikety clickety click.\u0026lt;\n\u0026ldquo;But you haven\u0026rsquo;t got any files in your account!\u0026rdquo; BOFH\nWhat no files! I had over 30, some big, this guy is wrong.\n\u0026ldquo;Yes I have, you must be looking in the wrong place!\u0026rdquo; Me.\n\u0026ldquo;Oh no, I made a mistake\u0026rdquo; he say.\nThat right bozo breath I think. I mutter \u0026ldquo;typical operator\u0026rdquo; to myself (unfortunetly to loud).\n\u0026ldquo;I MEANT TO SAY: That username doesn\u0026rsquo;t exist\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Huh? \u0026gt;wimper\u0026lt; It must be, I was only using it this morning!\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Ah well, that\u0026rsquo;ll be the problem, there was a virus in our system this morning, the\u0026hellip; uh\u0026hellip; De Vinci Virus, wipes out users who are logged in when it goes off.\u0026rdquo; BOFH\n\u0026ldquo;That can\u0026rsquo;t be right, my girlfriend was logged in, and I\u0026rsquo;m in her account now!\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Which one was that?\u0026rdquo;\nI give him my girlfriends userid. Then my mind says bad move. The igno second factor.\n\u0026ldquo;Oh, yeah, her account was just after we discovered the virus.\u0026rdquo; \u0026gt;clickety clikc\u0026lt; \u0026ldquo;..she only lost all her files\u0026rdquo; BOFH.\n\u0026ldquo;But\u0026hellip;\u0026rdquo; Me.\n\u0026ldquo;But don\u0026rsquo;t worry, we\u0026rsquo;ve got them all on tape\u0026rdquo; BOFH\n\u0026ldquo;Oh, thank goodness!!!\u0026rdquo; Me.\n\u0026ldquo;Paper tape. Have you got a magnifying glass and a pencil. SEE YOU IN THE MACHINE ROOM!!!! NYAHAHAHAHAHA!\u0026rdquo;\nHe did what?\nKILL and KILL AGAIN!\nI had heard there was some one they called the BASTARD OPERATOR FROM HELL. But never believed it. Now the line had been drawn.\nI got mad and put a fake program on the computer from my roomies account. You know the kind that acts like a normal screen for the log in but after the user enters the userid and password it ends and the normal login appears.\nThe teachers could not understand how I had such polished program and only used 80 percent of my computer time. Oh course every one else was running 150% of their allowed and hence got no higher than a \u0026ldquo;C\u0026rdquo; in the class.\nHey survival of the fittest.\nThe BASTARD USER FROM HELL is born.\nAuthor: John W. Fox HTML: Cord Beermann\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/bastard-user-from-hell-1/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI was a good computer programmer and a new college student.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI was trying to find the BASIC compiler and could not. Sooo\u0026hellip; I call the operator (I did not know it was the BOFH.)\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePhone rings\u0026hellip;\u0026ldquo;Hello\u0026rdquo; BOFH\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026ldquo;Who is this?\u0026rdquo; Me.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026ldquo;It\u0026rsquo;s me I think\u0026rdquo; BOFH\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo joke turkey breath. I think.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026ldquo;Me Who?\u0026rdquo; Me.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026ldquo;Is this like a knock knock joke?\u0026rdquo; BOFH.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI think \u0026ldquo;This guy is missing a few brain cells\u0026rdquo; [Bad assumption on my part].\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Bastard User From Hell #1"},{"content":"I had just finished redoing the furiture in the house (I wonder why) (Thank You Uncle Sam). When a rentee comes in and turn on the TV.\nI am not paying much attention except when they mention the Japanese Super Model Alica Naksone would be in town.\nWhat\u0026hellip;.. It spring\u0026hellip;. Has the Bastard User From Hell let his hormones rule his life. Has he been bitten by spring fever. Is he interested in more than just bits and bytes. Say it ain\u0026rsquo;t so!!!!\nIt Ain\u0026rsquo;t So! OK!\nHer Grand father and dad both hold high position in NTT. That means lots of BUFH opportunities. Besides some day I might get married and it would be nice if she was good looking elbow ornament.\nThen they mention that her escort for the weekend would be picked by computer selection for the best representation of out fine city.\nDid he say selected by computer\u0026hellip;. welll, welll, well.\nIt seems that for some reason most of the \u0026ldquo;likely\u0026rdquo; candidates did not get selected.\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means always winning at computer selection games.\nAlica turned out to be a very nice lady. She even knew alot about computers (her minor in school). I managed to have her give me her phone number and address to keep in touch. (As if I had not already located the non-listed number, address, income statements, measurements, etc., etc.)\nAfter that week several local companies had new subscribers to their phone systems. Each had a couple (not to many) calls to Japan a month after that. You get several so you can rotate the calling so no one get interested too much and in case one goes down.\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means never having to pay a phone bill.\nThe next day I was in the lab making the buzzer go off at random intervals in the sysop terminal when the lead cheerleader (can you say one fine looking lady with absolutely no computer sense) walks up and says \u0026ldquo;I heard you can help me with computers.\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Yes, I would be glad to help\u0026hellip; what is your userid please?\u0026rdquo; Me\nShe gives it to me\u0026hellip;.. Yes.\nThen she puts in her password (slowly). Double Yes.\nThat another account to mess with.\nI am having a good time helping her (yes I am being nice\u0026hellip; FOR NOW) When in walks Bob.\nBob is her boyfriend.. front nose guard\u0026hellip; 6ft 5\u0026quot; 248 lb of meat and very little brains\u0026hellip;. Can you say ox.\nHe also is a very jellous type. How do I know\u0026hellip; I have read his e-mail.\n\u0026ldquo;What are you doing next to Debbie you pip squeek?\u0026rdquo; he says.\nPip Squeek\u0026hellip;. did he say Pip Squeek?\n\u0026ldquo;I don\u0026rsquo;t let anyone get close to her.\u0026rdquo; he says.\nDebbie says \u0026ldquo;He was just help me with my computer homework, Bob.\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Yeah right.. probably trying to take you away.\u0026rdquo; Bob says.\nI say \u0026ldquo;Ohhh\u0026hellip; your Bob\u0026hellip;. Bob Caldolewisky\u0026hellip;. SSAN 546-87-0958 Lives at 123-54 Medford Lane\u0026hellip;. telephone number 256-8756.\u0026rdquo;\nHe blinks\u0026hellip; \u0026ldquo;Yeah\u0026rdquo;\nHey\u0026hellip;. Information is power.\nI say \u0026ldquo;I have just a couple things to say\u0026hellip;..\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;18 Feb 1993\u0026hellip;\u0026rdquo; (no response)\n\u0026ldquo;userid clsmith\u0026rdquo;\nWas that a little fear I say in his eye\u0026hellip;.\n\u0026ldquo;What does that have to do with anything?\u0026rdquo; Bob says.\nDebbie is looking back and forth at both of us trying to figure out what is going on.\nI say \u0026ldquo;Tango\u0026rdquo;\nBINGO\u0026hellip; I see fear\u0026hellip; FEAR in his eyes. Imtimidation is so easy when you read others e-mail.\nHe open his mouth to say something\u0026hellip;.. nothing comes out\u0026hellip;.. YES\nThe Bastard User From Hell strikes again.\nI say \u0026ldquo;I must be mistaken.. I confused you with some one else.. I apologize\u0026hellip; please forgive me.\u0026rdquo;\nWHAT \u0026hellip;. Has the Bastard User From Hell turned chicken and given up.. Is he letting this big ox get away with insulting him?\nNOT ON YOUR LIFE!\nOne rule is never back a guy in a corner with his girlfriend watching, especially if he is much bigger than you.\n\u0026ldquo;Yeah ok\u0026hellip; Debbie lets go.\u0026rdquo; They leave.\nNow its PAYBACK TIME!!!!!!!!\nI get on the computer and change all his grades to \u0026ldquo;Fs\u0026rdquo;. Then I scramble his files\u0026hellip; Then I get into the municiple utilities and shut off the water, electricity and gas to his place. Then I get on the NAACP bulleting board and overlay a picture of the KKK areamashal with his photo.\nAren\u0026rsquo;t computer fun.\nThen I send him a message that reads\u0026hellip;.\nDear Bob:\nAfter our conversation this afternoon, there are a few things I wish to remind you of in case you decide to mess with me. One.. Steve.. Math test Two.. Dr Philips.. Medical treatments Three, 18 Feb 1993.. Cindy Smith.. Tango for Two and last Championship celebration\u0026hellip; club house.. Laura.. videotape.. one copy made. Lay off.\nBUFH.\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means getting the last laugh\u0026hellip; ALWAYS.\nAfter that the football team never bothered me.. I wonder why?\nOn the way out I go to a lecture hall where my arch neminis the BOFH giving a lecture\u0026hellip; This should be fun.\nSome guy askes about computer privacy\u0026hellip; BOFH says coming out of the closet\nAAAAAAAGGGGGHHH\nThen someone about CMS1136 userid (yes I am recording these userid) Something about alt.sex.bu\u0026hellip;.\nNNGggggAAAAAAAAAGHGHGH.\nAfter that the hall empties fast.\nI do not stick around\u0026hellip; It seems to me that I need to read some more e-mail.\nAuthor: John W. Fox HTML: Cord Beermann\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/bastard-user-from-hell-10/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI had just finished redoing the furiture in the house (I wonder why) (Thank You Uncle Sam). When a rentee comes in and turn on the TV.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI am not paying much attention except when they mention the Japanese Super Model Alica Naksone would be in town.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhat\u0026hellip;.. It spring\u0026hellip;. Has the Bastard User From Hell let his hormones rule his life. Has he been bitten by spring fever. Is he interested in more than just bits and bytes. Say it ain\u0026rsquo;t so!!!!\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Bastard User From Hell #10"},{"content":"I am at home after reading a bunch a people e-mail\u0026hellip; nothing interesting, when Hank comes in.\n\u0026ldquo;What do you know about the spell checker program on the school\u0026rsquo;s computer?\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Its flawed, why?\u0026rdquo; I say.\n\u0026ldquo;Well Pete called in for instructions and is calling him back for some reason.\u0026rdquo; Hanks says.\n\u0026ldquo;I better go straighten him out\u0026hellip;. later\u0026rdquo; I smile\u0026hellip; so does Hank.\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means showing up after the damage is done so you can be the hero\u0026hellip;. always.\nCrash\u0026lt;\u0026hellip;. What the\nCrash\u0026lt; Huh\u0026hellip;\n\u0026ldquo;What is going on\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Its coming from Pete\u0026rsquo;s room.\u0026rdquo; Hank says.\nCRASH.. CRASH.. CRASH\u0026hellip; CRASH\u0026hellip; CRASH\u0026lt;\nAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHH.\n\u0026ldquo;I am going to kill that !@#$%^\u0026amp;()(\u0026amp;^\u0026amp;^%$##@@#$#$%%^^\u0026amp;*( BOFH\u0026rdquo;\nAs we look, out runs Pete with his 9mm. Pete is on the pistol team. Pete is mad\u0026hellip; Pete has a gun\u0026hellip; Run pete run.. Run far from us Pete.\nHank and I look at each other then say \u0026ldquo;Ain\u0026rsquo;t my problem man!\u0026rdquo;\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means being other people\u0026rsquo;s problem not them being your problem.\nLater that evening word comes that the BOFH is in the hospital.\nWHAT\u0026hellip;\u0026hellip;NOT DEAD\u0026hellip;. DAMM.\nBut this means the computer will be working fine for a couple of weeks.\nSo\u0026hellip;\u0026hellip; I get into the medical data base and remove the BOFH\u0026rsquo;s medical insurance. Then I take and put in a message about infected with AIDS in both the BOFH and Bob\u0026rsquo;s medical records. Then I grep on all the medical record with \u0026ldquo;AIDS\u0026rdquo; and send the results to the local sleaze tabloid. Then I go in and update Dr Philips account to show an entry from sleaze tabloids for $1000. Then I take and issue an arrest warrent for the BOFH for transportation of Biohazards. ETC. ETC. ETC. ETC.\nOh, it was grand.\nIn the mean time I figured out how to do land regristration via the computer.\nFunny\u0026hellip; I didn\u0026rsquo;t know I owned a 800 acres of land near Lake Tahoe with a 8000 square foot custome built house.\nThen I learned how to do this in Sinapore, England, Japan\u0026hellip; need I say more.\nAlica got a new penthouse in downtown Tokyo\u0026hellip;.. free.\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means never paying full price for property.\nI heard that Bob and Debbie broke up\u0026hellip;. life is full of broken romances.\nOh yeah, I went to work part time at a new computer company.\nWhat has the Bastard User From Hell gone coporate?\nOnly until I get the information I need. The company builds the new optical processors.\nCAN YOU SAY FFFFAAAASSSSSSTTTT Computing.\nThe controller there was such a geek. I ended up setting up the inventory tracking and security systems.\nYES\u0026hellip; They never showed the latest greatest model that dissappeared. Neither did they show the massive amount of telecomputing that went on with other companies.\nIn the mean time I went and broke into some companies database that had tons of stuff on stock transfer via computer trading.\nJess\u0026hellip; one has to own a few stocks and bonds.\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means always making a profit in the stock market.\nI also found some little company that had lots of stuff on encryption. Things were going fine until I saw a signature from the head of the NSA on a company memo.\nOh.. No.. the spooks.\nExit stage left.\nThe BOFH returned and everything slowed to a crawl\u0026hellip; I had to be a little more careful. I am a patient man, BOFH.\nLater that evening I read about some lady who commited suicide by taking the leads from her computer power supply and licking them. The police say the last number called was the school computer room.\nShe must have talked to the BOFH.\nI just smilled as my computer reported that the IRS did not know I existed\u0026hellip; my stock portfolio hit $100 mill.. and I owned 16,000 acres of land.\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means being filthy stinking rich.\nAuthor: John W. Fox HTML: Cord Beermann\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/bastard-user-from-hell-11/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI am at home after reading a bunch a people e-mail\u0026hellip; nothing interesting, when Hank comes in.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026ldquo;What do you know about the spell checker program on the school\u0026rsquo;s computer?\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026ldquo;Its flawed, why?\u0026rdquo; I say.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026ldquo;Well Pete called in for instructions and is calling him back for some reason.\u0026rdquo; Hanks says.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026ldquo;I better go straighten him out\u0026hellip;. later\u0026rdquo; I smile\u0026hellip; so does Hank.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBeing the Bastard User From Hell means showing up after the damage is done so you can be the hero\u0026hellip;. always.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Bastard User From Hell #11"},{"content":"Graduation had come. It was my turn to get even with the school for putting through four years of the BOFH and the BPFH.\nSSSSSOOOOOOO\u0026hellip;\u0026hellip;..\nThe schools play got a roaring round of laughter when the CO2 canisters were also filled with NO2 (laughing gas).\nThe Dean\u0026rsquo;s graduation speech got really messed up as he was reading it off the special computer screen installed on stage.\nThe BOFH probably wonder why he did not do it.\nThe Class Idiot (GPA = 1.1) was elected Validictorian.\nThe dorms were turned into orgy centers and classes cancelled when someone accidently ordered an aphrodeziac instead of the correct water purification chemicals for the schools water supply. (Order by computer of course). (I live off campus with a water filter on my house).\nAll finals had to be redone as the answers were all posted on the students e-mail. The teachers went crazy over the security breach.\nThe BPFH got his e-mail flooded because someone posted an add in the Gay Times, The Necrophila Times and the S\u0026amp;M nets saying send in msgs for possible pairing.\nA list of all the gay professors and students (who had not come out of the closet) some how appeared on the right side of the newspaper front page. In addition a list of professors who were sleeping with students appeared on the left side of the front page. (The 700 Club got a copy of the paper.)\nTom called and asked me about that one. I gave him the account on the medical doctor (Dr Philips) who was supplying steriods to students. He thanked me and ask politly that I not mess things up too badly.\nTom grovelled very well. His salary went up $10K this year.\nLastly I redirected the ATT/Bell Telephone/Sprint complain number to the BOFH home phone. It took ATT/Bell/Sprint two days to undo that one. You know, \u0026hellip;. have the work order say hard wire. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means always getting more than even.\nTwo days after graduation\u0026hellip; (everyone was recovering from the party because of the free beer)\nSeems Budweiser did not realize they had a delivery until it showed up on the warehouse computer.\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means getting beer cheep (free).\n\u0026hellip;\u0026hellip; there was a knock on the door. Hank went (stumbled) to get it.\n\u0026ldquo;Hi were from the government we would like to speak to Mr. John William Fox!\u0026rdquo;\nOh.. No.\nHank. \u0026ldquo;Let me see if he is in.\u0026rdquo; Good going Hank as I run to the back door and look out.\nSix guys in suits in the back yard and two roofers on each roof of every house around. There are four people not working on the electrical lines and six people from the water company who are not working either. Things look bleak for our hero.\nHank comes in and says \u0026ldquo;John there..\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Yeah, Yeah, I know. I\u0026rsquo;ll talk to them.\u0026rdquo;\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means knowing when to talk and knowing when to run.\nI go in and say \u0026ldquo;Hi, I am John Fox, can I help you?\u0026rdquo;\nMr three piece suit with shades says \u0026ldquo;Funny you should ask.\u0026rdquo; \u0026ldquo;You broke into a company database a couple weeks ago and got some information on say\u0026hellip;\u0026hellip;. protecting data.\u0026rdquo;\nBoy these guys don\u0026rsquo;t even know how to make small talk.\nI say. \u0026ldquo;I was attempting to download product information concerning possible interfacing of equipment with the company I was at for future co-development project and to get a feel for the job openings at the company.\u0026rdquo;\nPlease take the bait, Bismuth Breath.\nMr three piece suit \u0026ldquo;Yeah right!, You broke in and we have been watching you for the past week. You made 42 money transfers, 17 land title switches, traded $30 million in stocks and bonds and ordered a truck load of beer and snack from US companies.\u0026rdquo;\nDAMM, these spooks are good.\n\u0026ldquo;So here is the deal, you give all the stuff from the US companies back. The foreign stuff we do not care about but you.. WILL.. tell us how you did it. And besides you talked about job opportunities you start in one week for a year with us!\u0026rdquo;\nDamm, he didn\u0026rsquo;t even ask me what salary I wanted.\nI looked over at the guy on the right who was balancing a tooth pick on his left finger while standing on one leg (for the whole conversation) and over at the guy on the left who was craking brazil nuts with his thumb and pointer finger and make a quality decision.\n\u0026ldquo;Where is the job at?\u0026rdquo;\nMr three piece suit\u0026hellip; \u0026ldquo;You don\u0026rsquo;t need to know that!\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;What is the salary?\u0026rdquo;\nMr three piece suit\u0026hellip; \u0026ldquo;Enough!\u0026rdquo;\nThe guy on the right was balancing two tooth picks on two fingers (1/ea) and guy on left was up to two brazil nuts at a time.\n\u0026ldquo;Sounds good to me\u0026hellip; glad to be on board\u0026rdquo;\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means knowing when to say yes and knowing when to say no.\nMr three piece suit said \u0026ldquo;Good.. we will send the movers over to start packing tommorrow. Mr Toothpick will pick you up in three days to get you to work and Mr Brazil Nut will stay with you to ensure your safety.\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Say What!?\u0026rdquo;\nMr three piece suit. \u0026ldquo;Oh, don\u0026rsquo;t even think of running\u0026hellip;. you can\u0026rsquo;t\u0026rdquo; \u0026ldquo;Have a nice day.\u0026rdquo;\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means knowing when to give up a round in a fight (but not the match).\nWell one year later.. (I can`t talk about it but lets just say I got one HELL of a computer education)\u0026hellip;\nThe BASTARD USER FROM HELL is back.\nOh Mr Toothpick got a semitracker trailer full of toothpicks delivered to his house the next week.\nMr Brazil Nut got a railrod car full at his apartment.\nMr three peice suit got charged for 100 three peice suits on his VISA.\nMr BPFH (Bastard Professor From Hell) suddenly found that his protection software failed (every day and printed the test out on his students e-mail accounts). He also lost his retirement accounts and got on the IRS audit every year from here to eternity list.\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means getting the last screw for the professors who screwed you.\nDuring my year of working for Uncle Sam\u0026hellip;\nMR BOFH (Bastard Operator From Hell)\u0026hellip; YYYEEEEESSSSSS. It seemed that for one whole year there was a message that appeared every morning on his counsole saying \u0026ldquo;This is from the BUFH. BOFH, I am coming to get you HAHA!\u0026rdquo; He was never able to find out where it came from. (You don\u0026rsquo;t need to know remember).\nThen I heard the BOFH got promoted to a manager.\nTom got an article about how managers at the school were wasting taxpayer dollars for bull crap. There was one manager with the first name of Simon who was singled out.\nThe next day every one at the newspaper was fired (BOFH)\nThe day later every manager at the school was fired (BUFH)\nTwo months later my VISA suddenly had a $1,000,000 bill. (BOFH)\nThe next day the national debt got credited to the BOFH\u0026rsquo;s card (BUFH)\nOne month later the police showed up at my front door with an arrest warrent. (BOFH)\nThe next day a demolition crew showed up at the BOFH house (BUFH)\nThe warrent dissappeared about two days later. So did someone house.\nAnother time my car was impounded for non paying of fines (BOFH)\nThe next day the BOFH\u0026rsquo;s car was towed to a wrecking comany and crushed for scrap. (BUFH)\nFinally I was free from the government and could turn my whole energies on one person\u0026hellip;.. Yes Mr. BOFH, you.\nThe Nazi bulletin board got a death threat from Simon saying they were going to loose because he was Jewish and knew who they were.\nThe JDL got a message that Simon was trying to become the new NAZI extermination chair person.\nThe KKK got a message that a man named Simon was selling information concerning their bulletin boards.\nThe NAACP and Black Solider of Fortune and all law enforcment agencies got a message saying Simon was the leader of the ultra-radical KKK underground lynching unit.\nAll of his finances dissappeared.\nHis new car was trashed by some bikers because somehow Simon said Harleys were for sissies on the Rec.HellAngles net.\nThe Gay community named him public enemy number one after a newspaper article quoted him as say a few things (not repeatable here).\nThere were three ambulances from Shady Acres that showed up at his door. They arrived just before the SWAT team showed up to serve a warrent for illegal transportation of plutonium.\nFinally.\nI went and messed with the spooks one more time. (VERY CAREFULLY)\nThe directors of the NSA / CIA / FBI got messages from a Russian computer (at least that is where it was tracked to) saying that Simon had infiltrated agencies with time bomb computer codes and that he appeared to be insane. He was a deep mole that they feared would start another war if he was not stopped and put into complete isolation with absolutely NO computer acceess (or phone, or electronic).\nSince this appeared on the internal NSA / CIA / FBI secure network.\nDo I have to say more.\nBeing the BASTARD USER FROM HELL mens always getting the best and last when it comes to REVENGE.\nI am driving off into the sunset (doing 145 in the Lamboghini) with Alica by my side from our new Southern style mansion on 6000 acres of land (cost = $0.00), when some cop pulls me over.\nI pay the ticket and smile as I get his name and badge number and remember I have a personal data assistance in the glove compartment.\nThe BASTARD USER FROM HELL IS ALIVE AND WELL.\nThe end.\nAuthor: John W. Fox HTML: Cord Beermann\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/bastard-user-from-hell-12/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eGraduation had come. It was my turn to get even with the school for putting through four years of the BOFH and the BPFH.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSSSSSOOOOOOO\u0026hellip;\u0026hellip;..\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe schools play got a roaring round of laughter when the CO2 canisters were also filled with NO2 (laughing gas).\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Dean\u0026rsquo;s graduation speech got really messed up as he was reading it off the special computer screen installed on stage.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe BOFH probably wonder why he did not do it.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Bastard User From Hell #12"},{"content":"I come into the lab and signed in (using someone elses id) [funny, you offer to help a girl do her program and you can copy her user id and password from her typing, especially if they are slow.\n\u0026ldquo;What the?????\u0026rdquo; I get all these messages on her e-mail from alt.singles.with.severe.social.disfunctions. That can\u0026rsquo;t be right. I have been in her account before. She does not write or read this stuff.\n\u0026ldquo;Oh no\u0026hellip;. its him again.\u0026rdquo; The BOFH has mess things up AGAIN. That means my e-mail is messed up too.\nWell\u0026hellip; we will just have to fix that.\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means never being messed up for long.\nI spend the next two hours writing a very good program to go in and take all the print jobs from the faculty user ids and print them out in english, greek, latin, german, and japanese (that one was hard on the line printer).\nI do not mean a page at a time I mean a letter at a time. Then I assign the output to the computer operator printer.\nHe will catch it after a while, but hey, it is not my userid. What do I care.\nI also send a letter to the head of the computer department saying how much of a jerk the operator is and that he should be fired. Hey it ain\u0026rsquo;t my userid.\nUnfortunatly some of the professor want us to do stuff on the \u0026ldquo;SCHOOL\u0026rdquo; computer. With that guy for an operator, Yeah, Right!\nThen the computer goes down. RATS. Then it comes back up.\nI log in and I am missing some files. Sooo\u0026hellip; Ring..Ring..Ring\n\u0026ldquo;Computer Room\u0026rdquo; Oh no, not the BOFH. If I have to deal with this guy again\n\u0026ldquo;I\u0026rsquo;ve lost my files\u0026rdquo; I whine.. make him think I am stupid.\n\u0026ldquo;You bet you have\u0026rdquo; Is this guy picking a fight or what?\n\u0026ldquo;What was your username?\u0026rdquo; he says.\nI give it to him\u0026hellip; what choice do I have.\nAll of a sudden my whole directory dissappears. What in the name of hades\u0026hellip;.. OHHHH NNNOOOO\nFirst rule is never give the BOFH your userid.\nWell, time to study operating systems.\nIn the mean time I barricade the door to the computer room. As I am moving the first bench over someone says \u0026ldquo;What are you doing?\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;I am getting even with the stupid computer operator!!\u0026rdquo; All of a sudden ten students are helping me.\nI was much easier when everyone helps.\nThat evening I read about an epidemic of herpes and syphillis in the town.\nAuthor: John W. Fox HTML: Cord Beermann\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/bastard-user-from-hell-2/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI come into the lab and signed in (using someone elses id) [funny, you offer to help a girl do her program and you can copy her user id and password from her typing, especially if they are slow.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026ldquo;What the?????\u0026rdquo; I get all these messages on her e-mail from alt.singles.with.severe.social.disfunctions. That can\u0026rsquo;t be right. I have been in her account before. She does not write or read this stuff.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Bastard User From Hell #2"},{"content":"After reading up on operating systems I got in really quickly and learned how to up the priority for my job on the queue.\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means never having to wait for another users program to run.\nI did not try to get superuser privileges right away. That BOFH might check and find it. He is probably watching TV.\nWell, all my jobs are running just fine. Especially the one through the anonymous userid that is using the cypher cracking software on the academic records.\nIt is so nice to be able to give yourself an A. The problem is the professors keep changing the password on me. Not for long.\nSome guy next to me complains the system is slow (not my stuff) and says he is going to call the sysop.\nAm I going to tell him it is a bad idea. NOOOOOOOOOOO. Let him catch hell not me.\nI listen just for kicks and grins. \u0026ldquo;Do you know why the system is slow?\u0026rdquo; he says\nPause\u0026hellip;. \u0026ldquo;Oh\u0026rdquo;\nThe BOFH must have come up with a good answer. Either that or we have an idiot here.\n\u0026ldquo;But my research results are due in tomorrow and all I need is one page of Laser Print.\u0026rdquo; he says.\nHe hangs up and tries again.\nTalk about stupid. If the stove is hot you do not put you hand on again just to see if it really burns.\n\u0026ldquo;Oh, I\u0026rsquo;m sorry, I\u0026rsquo;ve got the wrong number\u0026rdquo;\nPause\u0026hellip; I hear screaming from the phone\u0026hellip; yeah this guy is stupid.\nHe drops the phone and sprints out the office.\nQuickly I run over to his computer. Got to get in fast before the account is canceled. Go into that file where I keep the transfer stuff. Enter the password. Got to be quick now. Yeah start program \u0026ldquo;retire\u0026rdquo;.\nI have to transfer some money to a Swiss bank account using this guy userid.\nI get one transfer done. It took a couple of seconds. I had the file all ready to go. Now when the police wonder who has been looting the money from that slush fund at the college they will nail this guy. Then this guy account dissappears. Perfect, no trace.\nWhat, I am stealing from the college. Hey.. I pay my fees. I am just getting some back. NOW! Besides most police department are just now becoming computer literate. Besides I used my crappy poly sci professers id. He is the one who spouts off about political correctness. Lets see him do political correctness when his name is on as the creator of the progam. I don\u0026rsquo;t want to take the fall. Hey, you can never start a retirement fund to soon you know.\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means always having a retirement account.\nWell back to the program that goes and monitors the sysops commands. Got to see how they work before you can counter man them.\nYeah\u0026hellip;\u0026hellip; done.\nSome guy next to me calls in to the BOFH.\n\u0026ldquo;I need more space.\u0026rdquo; he says\n\u0026ldquo;No, on my account stupid!\u0026rdquo;\nUh-OH. Here come the fire works. Hey this will be a good time to see if the new version of the command monitoring program works.\nBoy is this guy back pedalling fast\u0026hellip; but not fast enough.\n\u0026ldquo;4Megs\u0026hellip;.. aaaaaaaaaagggghhhhHHHH\u0026rdquo;\nLets see, there is e-mail from some user. Dumb cluck gave his personal id and password to his girl friend over e-mail. Ain\u0026rsquo;t monitoring programs fun.\nOh here is how he got rid of that guys memory. Lets see I will have to change this and add that other user id and give him say 0.5 MEG. What would happen if he is working on a big project at the time this command takes affect. El jerko in my English class is about to loose that essay he keep bragging about.\nOOOhhhhhhhhh CCCCRRRRAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!.\nAlright\u0026hellip;. that command worked. More memory for me to use.\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means never running out of RAM.\nAuthor: John W. Fox HTML: Cord Beermann\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/bastard-user-from-hell-3/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eAfter reading up on operating systems I got in really quickly and learned how to up the priority for my job on the queue.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBeing the Bastard User From Hell means never having to wait for another users program to run.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI did not try to get superuser privileges right away. That BOFH might check and find it. He is probably watching TV.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWell, all my jobs are running just fine. Especially the one through the anonymous userid that is using the cypher cracking software on the academic records.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Bastard User From Hell #3"},{"content":"It was thursday. I had to be in the lab. Not that I wanted to, but some professors tell us (the students) we HAVE to use the school computer. Something about funding, I guess.\nSome one has been trying to call the operator for about two hours. He has been swearing up a blue streak.\nMe, I just finish the stuff the professor wants (yes on my user id) the professor wants it that way.\nOnce I am done with that I get into another account (it pays to read e-mail). Some people know nothing of comm security.\nThe program I am working on now does the following. Goes and changes the users password. Then it greps the password file for similar encrypted words. Then dumps the results to another file on a dummy account.\nDummy account, Yeah, I had a talk with the secratary of one of the departments. She says that she would do anything to get even with the BOFH.\nSo I got into her computer remotely and found the purity test answers. Now she will and does do everything I need, qilling or not. (Interesting answers, she is so conservative, who would have guessed that she preferred\u0026hellip;\u0026hellip;.)\nWhen you are the Bastard User From Hell you don\u0026rsquo;t do thing. You get others to do it for you.\nBack to the program I am running.\nSee what you get for reading magazines. I got a list of the 100 most popular passwords. Well, I just had to try it out.\nThe guy how has been trying for two hours finally gets in. Then he goes over and does something on the terminal.\nAAAUUUUURRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!.\nThe BOFH must have told him to do use rm for something else. More disk space for me.\nSome guy wants a printout. The BOFH comes back with one of the crappiest printouts I have seen. Man, what did he do to that one?\nAlright, the program I put in has got me at least 32 more accounts. There is going to be no problem of computer time now. And the program is only half through.\nThat guy is still talking to the BOFH.\nHe gives him his disketts\u0026hellip; SUCKER are you done for now.\nLater I see him walking out with the diskettes over his head. I do not even want to know.\nThe program ends. I have 53 new user id and password I can use. Great.. that consulting work I am doing on the side will get done and I won\u0026rsquo;t have to buy a new computer.\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means never running out of accessible userids.\nAuthor: John W. Fox HTML: Cord Beermann\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/bastard-user-from-hell-4/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eIt was thursday. I had to be in the lab. Not that I wanted to, but some professors tell us (the students) we HAVE to use the school computer. Something about funding, I guess.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome one has been trying to call the operator for about two hours. He has been swearing up a blue streak.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMe, I just finish the stuff the professor wants (yes on my user id) the professor wants it that way.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Bastard User From Hell #4"},{"content":"Its friday. The BOFH has not been in all morning.\nHow do I know\u0026hellip; well the computer is running fine for one thing.\nThe other is that I paid a freshmen to watch the door while he does his homework. When the BOFH comes in he will let me know.\nThere is someone here who has been trying to get ahold of him all morning.\nMe\u0026hellip;. I am getting into the accademic records and updating my GPA to a 4.0. Than crypto program I was running worked just fine. And I did not even have to goto class (except the first day) Dam, am I good or am I good.\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means always getting good grades.\nThe freshmen come in. The BOFH is in to create havoac.\nWhat? Another guy is on the phone and he is yelling at the BOFH. This should be fun.\nMe.. I am finishing up that program for the consulting job I have. One has to make a living. The job allows me access to the companies computer remotely. But if I do it part time on the school computer I do not have to pay the modem bill.\nLet me tell you about purchase requests and userid. You can buy all sorts of stuff when your company NEEDS it. Why just the other day they needed a new 2GB hard drive. Lifes rough. See it like if you are good you use someone\u0026rsquo;s userid on the computer to do all you nasty work. Then when the brown stuff hit the horizontal wind pusher you look really good because your userid just shows pure work like a good little corporate slave.\nOh\u0026hellip; the guy tell the BOFH his user id. This should be good.\nAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhh.\nGuess he lost his files. It was not even me. Gee I feel cheated.\nTin fool, magnets, pillow cases. I don\u0026rsquo;t even want to guess.\nHey.. I found that guys account. Two files. Well, lets just run that tracking program for the password file.\nYeah there it is. Now just run that puppy through the unencryption program\u0026hellip;\u0026hellip;. presto a password.\nWhen your hot, your hot.\nBeing the BASTARD USER FROM HELL means always get more computer time, free.\nSee what happens when you work for a firm that does encryption stuff. You find out how they do that kind of thing. Then you come back to the computer and figure out what the algorithm is that the school computer uses and you are in like flint.\nIt is nice to have power at your fingertips.\nAuthor: John W. Fox HTML: Cord Beermann\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/bastard-user-from-hell-5/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eIts friday. The BOFH has not been in all morning.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I know\u0026hellip; well the computer is running fine for one thing.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe other is that I paid a freshmen to watch the door while he does his homework. When the BOFH comes in he will let me know.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere is someone here who has been trying to get ahold of him all morning.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMe\u0026hellip;. I am getting into the accademic records and updating my GPA to a 4.0. Than crypto program I was running worked just fine. And I did not even have to goto class (except the first day) Dam, am I good or am I good.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Bastard User From Hell #5"},{"content":"It lunch hour and the BOFH is not in. I saw him leave just after the janitor went in to the sysop room. The must confer. That janitor likes to bust in on people in the restrooms.\nSo.. what do I do. I grep all the e-mail readers for erotic word.\nWhat? Has the Bastard User From Hell gone in for porn. NNNOOO.\nAfter a quick scan, I see who is writing to who. There are userids I recognize. The others I run through the userid cross check file for names.\nThis will make good blackmail material for a few favors when it comes time to get things done.\nOh\u0026hellip;.. there is one from a junior who stood me up on a date. Well\u0026hellip;.. she is doing what with who. Make a copy and send to Western Union for a express delivery to her parents.\nBeing the BASTARD USER FROM HELL means getting back for the date who stood you up.\nI go in and reset everyone elses priority to super slow. The BOFH had it set to slow already. He should not notice the difference. Mine is set to fast.\nI am having problem saving that 47MEG graphics program with animation.\nLets see, who is not here.\nOh\u0026hellip; here is that TA\u0026rsquo;s file from the Econ class. Econ is a mandatory taker. The TA is a jerk and does not let up.\nWell, lets just get into his account. My! Is this his thesis for the bachaloer committe? Well we will just do a \u0026ldquo;mv . /bin/bitbucket\u0026rdquo;\nGood, that frees up 7MEG of space. No problem\nBeing the BASTARD USER FROM HELL means never waiting for disk space.\nOh No, the BOFH is back.\nSomeone phones in.. lets see what he does.\nSomething about saving documents. Jeeze she is not crying the BOFH must be having a mental lapse.\nWHAT????!!!!!. All the files on this disk dissappeared. Why that little no good for nothing BOFH.\nI had two important files (crypto craker and list of userid w/passwords) on that disk.\nWell, tranfer to another userid (you can never have enough) and run that undelete program. Lets hope he isn\u0026rsquo;t watching the screen.\nBingo. Now if I can just reserve the rest of this disk.\nRats, only 478 MEG avalible. Darn, I wanted 500. Oh well can\u0026rsquo;t be to greedy now.\nSome guy calls in and ends up walking away sobbing.\nAfter a productive day I leave.\nOn the way home (to my home, mortgage all paid, gee isn\u0026rsquo;t being a BUFH so much fun) I see an ambulance and and a bunch of guys in white coats.\nSomeone says something about some lady screaming she will get the BOFH for what he did to her computer and files.\nGald to see I am not the only one working on that.\nI get in and login on the computer at home using my rentee password and his CompuServe id. Route it through a jerks userid at school. Going to be a long weekend with him away. Best part is someone else will get the blame.\nBeing the BASTARD USER FROM HELL means never paying for access time.\nAuthor: John W. Fox HTML: Cord Beermann\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/bastard-user-from-hell-6/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eIt lunch hour and the BOFH is not in. I saw him leave just after the janitor went in to the sysop room. The must confer. That janitor likes to bust in on people in the restrooms.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo.. what do I do. I grep all the e-mail readers for erotic word.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhat? Has the Bastard User From Hell gone in for porn. NNNOOO.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAfter a quick scan, I see who is writing to who. There are userids I recognize. The others I run through the userid cross check file for names.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Bastard User From Hell #6"},{"content":"I end up in one of the required class. Psych. Yeah, let me near a computer and I\u0026rsquo;ll psych you out all right. And the teacher.\nShe is one of those b***** (excuse me, female dog) who blames all of the world\u0026rsquo;s ill on the male gender. Jesss give me a break. If it was not for some male she would not even be here. Ever take a Bio class lady!\nThe female has been going on and on about how things are screwed up. Yeah, I know I am sitting in this class just thinking of how to really screw things up\u0026hellip; FOR HER.\nThen she mentions computers always fail\u0026hellip;Bingo, here is my chance.\n\u0026ldquo;Well, you know that the communication lines that are bounced of the stratosphere are being interupted by falling satellite parts and this causes computer to miss the synching cycle.\u0026rdquo; I say.\nWhen you walk the walk and talk the talk\u0026hellip;..\n\u0026ldquo;Huh\u0026rdquo; she says.\n\u0026ldquo;Well, yeah, with the synch cycle out the computer does not know what you are trying to tell it so it makes something up and that is why the satellites are falling.\u0026rdquo;\nIf you can not blind um with your brilliance, baffel um with the bullcrap.\nHer\u0026hellip; BB in a Boxcar when it comes to technical stuff.\nGot her going for five minutes before she got back on men designed satellites and that is why they fall out of the sky etc.etc.etc.\nPpplleeaassseeee!!!!!.\nAfter class I go over to the computer center and tap into the reserve userid file. Guess whos id is on the system.\nYeah.. It PAY BACK TIME.\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means always out psyching the your psych instructor.\nI\u0026rsquo;ll just make up some stuff and report it.\nWhats this. alt.sex.beastality\u0026hellip; alt.sex.pedephilla\nEUREKA\u0026hellip;.. PAYDIRT. And I did not have to make it up.\nI call my friend at the newspaper (help him in a class once). Got to know the computer system at the newspaper. Comes in handy when you want to spread some dirt around.\nLIKE NOW.\n\u0026ldquo;Hey Tom\u0026hellip; John\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Oh hi.. thanks for the help on the last exam.\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;No problem\u0026hellip; hey you want a story about a teacher that the state is paying good money to run a sex bulliten board?\u0026rdquo; I say.\n\u0026ldquo;Is it a big one?\u0026rdquo; he asks\n\u0026ldquo;You would not believe how big!\u0026rdquo; I say.\nI send him a file with a bunch of stuff (userid, password, other crap). I also get in and download the user names from four other bulletin boards about the same stuff I ran across. Never know when info comes in handy.\nHe thanks me and says \u0026ldquo;Do not eat at the cafeteria at school. Some one keeps sending organ transplate stuff there.\u0026rdquo;\nI hand up and say darn that was a good one. I should have thought of that. I wonder who\u0026hellip; no I don\u0026rsquo;t.\nI go back home and get ready for a job interview.\nWhat you say! The Bastard User From Hell is giving in to the corporate world. Guess again. It is at a bank that has a large network of ATM machines. Only as long as it takes to figure out how to crack the system and set my self up with several million and computer access for the rest of my life.\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means never running out of cash.\nOn the way out I hear a couple people saying how this nice man taught them how the \u0026ldquo;rm\u0026rdquo; command is the remark command.\nI wonder who that could be.\nAuthor: John W. Fox HTML: Cord Beermann\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/bastard-user-from-hell-7/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI end up in one of the required class. Psych. Yeah, let me near a computer and I\u0026rsquo;ll psych you out all right. And the teacher.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShe is one of those b***** (excuse me, female dog) who blames all of the world\u0026rsquo;s ill on the male gender. Jesss give me a break. If it was not for some male she would not even be here. Ever take a Bio class lady!\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Bastard User From Hell #7"},{"content":"I had just got done withdrawing some cash from an ATM and was taking off the picture mask (for the video cams) of my French teacher when I notice the police ticketing my Vette\nRATS!\nI go over and talk really polite to the officer (He has a gun! OK) Of course I get his name and badge number and say I am really sorry and I won\u0026rsquo;t do it again. Thank you for only a small fine officer.\nI will deal with the parking ticket later. I have to go to French class.. It\u0026rsquo;s my mandatory foreign language class.\nOn the way over I notice the BOFH getting out of his car and write down the licence plate number. Might as well kill two birds with one stone later.\nIn French class the instructor is his normal stuck up self. The French they iz the prezisaomo when it comes to zi women.\nLike with your ugly mug you probably had to pay money guy.\nThe deep nasal sound we had to practice. If I had a baseball bat I would make he do nasal sounds. Maybe later.\nAfter class I am back in the lab and tap into the police data base.\nNow for that ticket. \u0026lt;clicket click\u0026gt; What ticket.. HAHAHAHAHA. And the officer\u0026hellip; Oh he just lost the registration for his car. Let him explain that one.\nNow for the BOFH. \u0026lt;clickety, click\u0026gt; Lets just report that one stolen.\nHe will get out of it but it is fun to harass.\nI am just about done when my cellular phone rings.\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means never being out of touch.\nIt Tom.. you know from the newspaper.\n\u0026ldquo;John\u0026hellip; Tom.. what can you tell me about Mr. Renee? I understand he is your French teacher.\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Besides being a lousy French teacher and a stuck up jack ass and living beyond his means not much. Why?\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;He just got arrested for taking money from the banks ATM using false ATM cards.\u0026rdquo;\nDAMMM those bank guys are getting close. I am going to have to redo the banks accounts and give me some more breathing room. They must have a couple a sharp cookies working for them.\n\u0026ldquo;Can you hang on for five minutes and I will call you right back?\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;OK\u0026rdquo; Tom says.\nQuick.. got to get into the system. (Using a fake id of course) Where is his account. There we go. Got to make a few (couple dozen extra transactions). Back date them of course.\nQuickly set up a dummy account for savings. Say put in $20K. Then I will have to\nWATCHER ALERT\nDamm those bank guys are getting better.\nI got 30 seconds.\nGet into the other account. 20 sec.\nPut in two numbers from the drug dealers Swiss bank account\n10 sec.\nRun the back date software\n5 sec\nsign off.\nMade it by 2 sec.\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means never getting caught.\n\u0026ldquo;Tom\u0026hellip; John\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Yeah\u0026hellip; what do you have\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Tom.. sit down and write this down and then take it to the police and you never talked to me understand\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Yeah\u0026hellip; OK\u0026hellip; why\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;He has $20K in a saving account, number ############# at BofA. He has made dozens of withdrawal in the last month. He also has the number to some Swiss bank account in his account ########## at the bank. I think there may be some drug running in this one.\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;DAAMMMM. How did you find out all that so quick?\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Do you want me to help you with the homework or not?\u0026rdquo; I say.\n\u0026ldquo;Never mind.. I get this to the police\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Thanks for the story?\u0026rdquo; Tom says.\n\u0026ldquo;No problem man\u0026rdquo;\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means always out nasaling your French instructor.\nAuthor: John W. Fox HTML: Cord Beermann\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/bastard-user-from-hell-8/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI had just got done withdrawing some cash from an ATM and was taking off the picture mask (for the video cams) of my French teacher when I notice the police ticketing my Vette\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRATS!\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI go over and talk really polite to the officer (He has a gun! OK) Of course I get his name and badge number and say I am really sorry and I won\u0026rsquo;t do it again. Thank you for only a small fine officer.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Bastard User From Hell #8"},{"content":"It had been one of those semesters. The BUFH ran into the BPFH (Bastard Professor From Hell). And he was in the computer science department at that. This guy was every student\u0026rsquo;s WORST nightmare.\nHe was so good he even has a quadruple encypher on his academic records that changed everytime he used it. This is besides the password from the lower neither regions of the world.\nHe also had to tracking software to record who did what to his account. Funny, students in his class dropped like flies.\nNot me! I wonder why?\nEvery now and then you have to admit that someone is better than you are\u0026hellip;\u0026hellip; BUT NOT FOR LONG BPFH.\nI came home (freshly furished with VISA cards that always showed a zero balance and six digit line of credit).\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means always having a zero balance on your credit cards.\nThe tax forms for the year showed up. Oh joy.\nWell something more to work on. Hey, didn\u0026rsquo;t they just use computers to automate the tax system\u0026hellip; hhhmmm.\nA couple of quick trips to the lab and some good savings may result.\nIt took me three days to get in and reprogram the computer at the IRS facility. They had a few people watching but the IRS guys were not that bright. It was the spooks that one has to worry about.\nOne thing about big brother\u0026hellip; he will spend $10,000 to get his 50 cents back. I had to be careful.\nEvidently they called in the spooks. People started showing up on campus asking all sorts of questions. Had to get things done quick.\nDamm, must be loosing my touch. Nay, I was to tired trying to survive the BPFH class that I start to get worn down.\nI go into the lab when I find out my C.V. file is gone. I look and it is no where. Huh. I could have sworn I had it. Maybe I deleted it by accident.\nI have to call the sysop. Please not the BOFH, not today.\n\u0026ldquo;Yes\u0026rdquo; the sysop says.\n\u0026ldquo;I\u0026rsquo;ve accidently delted my C.V.\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;You have? What was your username?\u0026rdquo; he says\nDo I have to give it to this guy.. well OK\n\u0026ldquo;Ah no, you didn\u0026rsquo;t delete it - I did.\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;WHAT!\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;I deleted it. It was full of shit! You didn\u0026rsquo;t ever get more than a B- in any of your subjects!\u0026rdquo; he says.\n\u0026ldquo;Huh?\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;And that crap about being a foreign exchange student, that was your girlfriend and we both know it.\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;Huh?!!\u0026rdquo; How did he find out?\n\u0026ldquo;Your academic records. I checked them, you were lying..\u0026rdquo;.\nWHAT THE\u0026hellip;\u0026hellip;. \u0026ldquo;How did y..\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;It\u0026rsquo;s you isn\u0026rsquo;t it? THE BASTARD OPERATOR FROM HELL!\u0026rdquo; I say.\n\u0026ldquo;In the flesh, on the phone and in your account\u0026hellip;. You shouldn\u0026rsquo;t have called you know. You especially shouldn\u0026rsquo;t have given me your username..\u0026rdquo; \u0026gt;clickety\u0026lt; \u0026gt;click\u0026lt; \u0026ldquo;Neither should you have sent that mail to the System Manager telling him what you think of him in graphic terms\u0026hellip;\u0026rdquo;\n\u0026ldquo;I didn\u0026rsquo;t send any..\u0026rdquo;\nclickety\u0026lt; \u0026gt;click\u0026lt;\u0026hellip;\u0026hellip;\n\u0026ldquo;No, you didn\u0026rsquo;t did you? But who can tell these days. Not to worry though, It\u0026rsquo;ll all be over VERY soon..\u0026rdquo; \u0026gt;clickety click\u0026lt;\n\u0026ldquo;b-b-b..\u0026rdquo; I blurt, this guy has got me good.\n\u0026ldquo;Goodbye now\u0026rdquo; he say pleasantly, \u0026ldquo;you\u0026rsquo;ve got bags to pack and a life to start over\u0026hellip;\u0026rdquo;\nSON OF A F****** B****. (Falling Brick)\nThis is war, but he don\u0026rsquo;t know it yet.\nOf all the people to run into now. I do not need this. Man, I am going to get that new computer and do the stuff at home.\nLucky for me I used my rentee userid. At least I have a couple dozen more left. Why do you think I bought a big house and alot of the computer sci user stay there.\nHey what are roomie for anyway.\nI leave. You know who is watching.\nI get home, have a beer, finish the project and send it on its way. At least I got the class done.\nMy roomie comes in and turns on the T.V.\nThere is a knock on the door followed by\nPOLICE! BAMMMM!! the front door is reduced to splinters.\nI am diving for cover. My roomie is frozen in terror.\nIn come the FBI, DEA, Secret Service, Police and Lord knows what else.\nLets just say looking down the barrel of lots of M-16 is not fun.\nWell they tear up the place and handcuff us. One geek with glasses kept saying \u0026ldquo;Make my day!\u0026rdquo; Yes, he had a BIG gun. I did not make his day.\nThey found all the stuff about taxes in the computer. Under another roomie id of course and a few other computer users id with other stuff.\nDAMM going to have to redo that stuff when I get out..\nThank goodnes I learned early on to never, never use you own id.\nBeing the Bastard User From Hell means letting other people take the blame for the crap that you pull.\nAuthor: John W. Fox HTML: Cord Beermann\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/bastard-user-from-hell-9/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eIt had been one of those semesters. The BUFH ran into the BPFH (Bastard Professor From Hell). And he was in the computer science department at that. This guy was every student\u0026rsquo;s WORST nightmare.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHe was so good he even has a quadruple encypher on his academic records that changed everytime he used it. This is besides the password from the lower neither regions of the world.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHe also had to tracking software to record who did what to his account. Funny, students in his class dropped like flies.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Bastard User From Hell #9"},{"content":"parses logfiles from Squid, NetCache, Inktomi Traffic Server, Oops! proxy server, Novell Internet Caching System, Compaq Tasksmart or Netscape/iplanet Web Proxy Server and generates a report. Written in perl5.\nCalamaris V2 (V2.59, V3-beta-version: V2.99.4.7) Reports: Summary Peak-usage report Request-Method-report (ICP_QUERY, GET, HEAD, \u0026hellip;) Status-report of incoming UDP-Requests Status-report of incoming TCP-Requests Status-report of outgoing Requests Status-report of Neighbor-Caches report about requested second- or third-level-domains report about requested Top-Level-Domains Protocol-report (http, gopher, ftp, \u0026hellip;) report about requested Content-Types report about requested file-extensionen report of incoming UDP-requests per Host report of incoming TCP-requests per Host report of size-based Distribution of Objects report about performance in defined timeranges. report about the distribution of transaction-times (only V3-beta version) report about the distribution of http-errorcodes (only V3-beta version) extended report about file-extensions (only V3-beta version) more information in the other reports (only V3-beta version) Other features:\ncaching of the parsed data HTML-Output and HTML-Frame-Output (only V3-beta version) graphics (only V3-beta version) command-line-options configuration-file (only V3-beta version) GNU General Public License Demo report (Demo report V3-beta-Version) Demo HTML-report (Demo HTML-report V3-beta-Version Demo HTML-Frame-report V3-beta-Version) ChangeLog Download Calamaris V2.59 (Download Calamaris V2.99.4.7) Calamaris-Announce-Mailinglist: send mail to Calamaris-Announce-Request@Cord.de with Mailbody \u0026lsquo;subscribe user@domain.com\u0026rsquo;. Debian-Packages are here: search Calamaris-Package Calamaris-rpms at http://rpmfind.net/linux/rpm2html/search.php?query=calamaris. a FreeBSD-port here: http://www.freebsd.org/cgi/ports.cgi?query=calamaris and a NetBSD-Package here: ftp://ftp.netbsd.org/pub/NetBSD/packages/pkgsrc/www/calamaris/README.html. You can make Cord happy(ier) here: Wishlist Calamaris V1 (V1.20) old version of Calamaris. Use calamaris v2 instead. (Demo-report) ","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/calamaris/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eparses logfiles from \u003ca href=\"https://www.squid-cache.org\"\u003eSquid\u003c/a\u003e, \u003ca href=\"https://www.netapp.com/products/netcache/\"\u003eNetCache\u003c/a\u003e, \u003ca href=\"http://www.inktomi.com/products/network/products/\"\u003eInktomi Traffic Server\u003c/a\u003e, \u003ca href=\"http://zipper.paco.net/~igor/oops.eng/\"\u003eOops! proxy server\u003c/a\u003e, \u003ca href=\"https://www.novell.com/products/ics/\"\u003eNovell Internet Caching System\u003c/a\u003e, \u003ca href=\"http://www.compaq.com/tasksmart/\"\u003eCompaq Tasksmart\u003c/a\u003e or \u003ca href=\"http://www.iplanet.com/downloads/download/detail_14_13.html\"\u003eNetscape/iplanet Web Proxy Server\u003c/a\u003e and generates a report. Written in perl5.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdl\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCalamaris V2 (V2.59, V3-beta-version: V2.99.4.7)\u003c/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eReports:\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSummary\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePeak-usage report\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRequest-Method-report (ICP_QUERY, GET, HEAD, \u0026hellip;)\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eStatus-report of incoming UDP-Requests\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eStatus-report of incoming TCP-Requests\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eStatus-report of outgoing Requests\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eStatus-report of Neighbor-Caches\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ereport about requested second- or third-level-domains\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ereport about requested Top-Level-Domains\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProtocol-report (http, gopher, ftp, \u0026hellip;)\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ereport about requested Content-Types\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ereport about requested file-extensionen\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ereport of incoming UDP-requests per Host\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ereport of incoming TCP-requests per Host\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ereport of size-based Distribution of Objects\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ereport about performance in defined timeranges.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ereport about the distribution of transaction-times (only V3-beta version)\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ereport about the distribution of http-errorcodes (only V3-beta version)\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eextended report about file-extensions (only V3-beta version)\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003emore information in the other reports (only V3-beta version)\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOther features:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ecaching of the parsed data\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHTML-Output and HTML-Frame-Output (only V3-beta version)\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003egraphics (only V3-beta version)\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ecommand-line-options\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003econfiguration-file (only V3-beta version)\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGNU General Public License\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"/media/calamaris/calamaris-2.out\"\u003eDemo report\u003c/a\u003e (\u003ca href=\"/media/calamaris/calamaris-3.txt\"\u003eDemo report V3-beta-Version\u003c/a\u003e)\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"/media/calamaris/calamaris-2.html\"\u003eDemo HTML-report\u003c/a\u003e (\u003ca href=\"/media/calamaris/calamaris-3\"\u003eDemo HTML-report V3-beta-Version\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca href=\"/media/calamaris/calamaris-3-frame\"\u003eDemo HTML-Frame-report V3-beta-Version\u003c/a\u003e)\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"/media/calamaris/calamaris.changelog\"\u003eChangeLog\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"/media/calamaris/calamaris-2.59.tar.gz\"\u003eDownload Calamaris V2.59\u003c/a\u003e (\u003ca href=\"/media/calamaris/calamaris-2.99.4.7.tar.gz\"\u003eDownload Calamaris V2.99.4.7\u003c/a\u003e)\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCalamaris-Announce-Mailinglist: send mail to \u003ca href=\"mailto:Calamaris-Announce-Request@Cord.de\"\u003eCalamaris-Announce-Request@Cord.de\u003c/a\u003e with Mailbody \u0026lsquo;subscribe \u003ca href=\"mailto:user@domain.com\"\u003euser@domain.com\u003c/a\u003e\u0026rsquo;.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"http://www.debian.org/\"\u003eDebian\u003c/a\u003e-Packages are here: \u003ca href=\"https://packages.debian.org/calamaris\"\u003esearch Calamaris-Package\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCalamaris-rpms at \u003ca href=\"https://rpmfind.net/linux/rpm2html/search.php?query=calamaris\"\u003ehttp://rpmfind.net/linux/rpm2html/search.php?query=calamaris\u003c/a\u003e.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ea FreeBSD-port here: \u003ca href=\"https://www.freebsd.org/cgi/ports.cgi?query=calamaris\"\u003ehttp://www.freebsd.org/cgi/ports.cgi?query=calamaris\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eand a NetBSD-Package here: \u003ca href=\"ftp://ftp.netbsd.org/pub/NetBSD/packages/pkgsrc/www/calamaris/README.html\"\u003eftp://ftp.netbsd.org/pub/NetBSD/packages/pkgsrc/www/calamaris/README.html\u003c/a\u003e.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou can make Cord happy(ier) here: \u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.de/gp/registry/wishlist/11VNY85NF7YFL/028-0342861-9926932?sort=priority\u0026amp;layout=compact\"\u003eWishlist\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003e\u003ca href=\"/media/calamaris/calamaris.pl\"\u003eCalamaris V1\u003c/a\u003e (V1.20)\u003c/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eold version of Calamaris. Use calamaris v2 instead. (\u003ca href=\"/media/calamaris/calamaris.out\"\u003eDemo-report\u003c/a\u003e)\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003c/dl\u003e","title":"Calamaris (english)"},{"content":" Calamaris parses the Squid V1.1.x, V1.2.x and V2.0.x Native Log Format and generates a report. shrimp.pl filters the Squid Native Log Format (V1.0.x AND V1.1.x) into Common Log Format. scacot.pl (Squid CAche COnversion Tool) converts different Cacheconfigurations and the associated data in another. IMHO not recommended to use, because its slow and not well tested. (README) ","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/frutti-di-mare-tools-for-squid/","summary":"\u003cdl\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003e\u003ca href=\"http://Calamaris.Cord.de/\"\u003eCalamaris\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eparses the \u003ca href=\"https://www.squid-cache.org\"\u003eSquid\u003c/a\u003e V1.1.x, V1.2.x and V2.0.x Native Log Format and generates a report.\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003e\u003ca href=\"/media/shrimp.pl\"\u003eshrimp.pl\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003efilters the \u003ca href=\"https://www.squid-cache.org\"\u003eSquid\u003c/a\u003e Native Log Format (V1.0.x AND V1.1.x) into Common Log Format.\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003e\u003ca href=\"/media/scacot.pl\"\u003escacot.pl\u003c/a\u003e (Squid CAche COnversion Tool)\u003c/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003econverts different Cacheconfigurations and the associated data in another. IMHO not recommended to use, because its slow and not well tested. (\u003ca href=\"/media/scacot.README\"\u003eREADME\u003c/a\u003e)\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003c/dl\u003e","title":"Frutti di mare ;-) (Tools for Squid)"},{"content":"Local Bastard User From Hell \u0026hellip; and somewhere else \u0026hellip; Bastard Operator From Hell Christoph\u0026rsquo;s gesammelte Werke (Comics) ","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/funnies-and-truths/","summary":"\u003ch2 id=\"local\"\u003eLocal\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"/the-bastard-user-from-hell-bufh\"\u003eBastard User From Hell\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"-and-somewhere-else-\"\u003e\u0026hellip; and somewhere else \u0026hellip;\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"http://bofharchive.com/\"\u003eBastard Operator From Hell\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https://hachri.de/\"\u003eChristoph\u0026rsquo;s gesammelte Werke\u003c/a\u003e (Comics)\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e","title":"Funnies and Truths"},{"content":" inpath2dot.pl This tool takes the data generated out of inpath written by Olaf Titz and puts it in a format usable with dot and neato of the Graphviz-Software. Demo-Reports can be found here: PNG-Format (65k, 4354 x 2880), PostScript-Format (49k, 4354 x 2880). syncgroups.pl A small tool which connects to a newsserver, gets active and newsgroups and produces output usable for docheckgroups. All tools here are GPL-Software. See the Copyright.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/news-stuff/","summary":"\u003cdl\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003e\u003ca href=\"/media/inpath2dot.pl\"\u003einpath2dot.pl\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eThis tool takes the data generated out of \u003ca href=\"http://sites.inka.de/~W1011/sw/ninpaths-3.1.1.tar.gz\"\u003einpath\u003c/a\u003e written by \u003ca href=\"http://sites.inka.de/~W1011/\"\u003eOlaf Titz\u003c/a\u003e and puts it in a format usable with dot and neato of the \u003ca href=\"https://www.research.att.com/sw/tools/graphviz/\"\u003eGraphviz\u003c/a\u003e-Software. Demo-Reports can be found here: \u003ca href=\"/media/inpath.dot.png\"\u003ePNG-Format\u003c/a\u003e (65k, 4354 x 2880), \u003ca href=\"/media/inpath.dot.ps\"\u003ePostScript-Format\u003c/a\u003e (49k, 4354 x 2880).\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003e\u003ca href=\"/media/syncgroups.pl\"\u003esyncgroups.pl\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eA small tool which connects to a newsserver, gets active and newsgroups and produces output usable for docheckgroups.\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003c/dl\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll tools here are GPL-Software. See the \u003ca href=\"/media/COPYRIGHT\"\u003eCopyright\u003c/a\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"News-Stuff"},{"content":" Frutti di mare ;-) (Tools for Squid) News-Stuff Solutiondatabase, problem management and user application form (Software (commented in English) out of my diploma which is only in German) CoCaLoRes, the COnfigurable CAching LOgfile RESolver. PGP2Schnippsel, puts as much as possible PGP/GnuPG-Fingerprints on one PostScript-Page. Useful for Keysigning-Parties. Calendar2Mail, fetch ical-feeds, parse them and produce a mail with the upcoming appointments. all programs are licensed under the GNU GPL. Copyright.\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/selfmade/","summary":"\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"/en/frutti-di-mare-tools-for-squid\"\u003eFrutti di mare\u003c/a\u003e ;-) (Tools for \u003ca href=\"https://www.squid-cache.org\"\u003eSquid\u003c/a\u003e)\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"/en/news-stuff\"\u003eNews-Stuff\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"http://ralf.und.cord.de/cord/anhang/\"\u003eSolutiondatabase, problem management and user application form\u003c/a\u003e (Software (commented in English) out of my \u003ca href=\"http://ralf.und.cord.de/\"\u003ediploma\u003c/a\u003e which is only in German)\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https://cocalores.sf.net\"\u003eCoCaLoRes\u003c/a\u003e, the COnfigurable CAching LOgfile RESolver.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"/media/pgp2schnippsel.pl\"\u003ePGP2Schnippsel\u003c/a\u003e, puts as much as possible PGP/GnuPG-Fingerprints on one PostScript-Page. Useful for Keysigning-Parties.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"/media/calendar2mail.pl\"\u003eCalendar2Mail\u003c/a\u003e, fetch ical-feeds, parse them and produce a mail with the upcoming appointments.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eall programs are licensed under the GNU GPL. \u003ca href=\"/media/COPYRIGHT\"\u003eCopyright\u003c/a\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e","title":"Selfmade"},{"content":"I\u0026rsquo;ve decided to remove these pages, because the original autor \u0026lsquo;Simon Paul Travaglia\u0026rsquo; has put up all his works himself now. So you\u0026rsquo;ll find more than ever was here at his homepage http://bofharchive.com/\n","permalink":"https://cord.de/en/the-bastard-operator-from-hell-bofh/","summary":"\u003cp\u003eI\u0026rsquo;ve decided to remove these pages, because the original autor \u0026lsquo;Simon Paul\nTravaglia\u0026rsquo; has put up all his works himself now. So you\u0026rsquo;ll find more than ever\nwas here at his homepage \u003ca href=\"http://bofharchive.com/\"\u003ehttp://bofharchive.com/\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e","title":"The Bastard Operator From Hell (BOFH)"}]