I come into the lab and signed in (using someone elses id) [funny, you offer to help a girl do her program and you can copy her user id and password from her typing, especially if they are slow.

"What the?????" I get all these messages on her e-mail from alt.singles.with.severe.social.disfunctions. That can't be right. I have been in her account before. She does not write or read this stuff.

"Oh no.... its him again." The BOFH has mess things up AGAIN. That means my e-mail is messed up too.

Well... we will just have to fix that.

Being the Bastard User From Hell means never being messed up for long.

I spend the next two hours writing a very good program to go in and take all the print jobs from the faculty user ids and print them out in english, greek, latin, german, and japanese (that one was hard on the line printer).

I do not mean a page at a time I mean a letter at a time. Then I assign the output to the computer operator printer.

He will catch it after a while, but hey, it is not my userid. What do I
care.

I also send a letter to the head of the computer department saying how much of a jerk the operator is and that he should be fired. Hey it ain't my userid.

Unfortunatly some of the professor want us to do stuff on the "SCHOOL" computer. With that guy for an operator, Yeah, Right!

Then the computer goes down. RATS. Then it comes back up.

I log in and I am missing some files. Sooo... Ring..Ring..Ring

"Computer Room" Oh no, not the BOFH. If I have to deal with this guy again

"I've lost my files" I whine.. make him think I am stupid.

"You bet you have" Is this guy picking a fight or what?

"What was your username?" he says.

I give it to him... what choice do I have.

All of a sudden my whole directory dissappears. What in the name of hades..... OHHHH NNNOOOO

First rule is never give the BOFH your userid.

Well, time to study operating systems.

In the mean time I barricade the door to the computer room. As I am moving the first bench over someone says "What are you doing?"

"I am getting even with the stupid computer operator!!" All of a sudden ten students are helping me.

I was much easier when everyone helps.

That evening I read about an epidemic of herpes and syphillis in the town.

Author: John W. Fox
HTML: Cord Beermann