I had just got done withdrawing some cash from an ATM and was taking off the picture mask (for the video cams) of my French teacher when I notice the police ticketing my Vette

RATS!

I go over and talk really polite to the officer (He has a gun! OK) Of course I get his name and badge number and say I am really sorry and I won't do it again. Thank you for only a small fine officer.

I will deal with the parking ticket later. I have to go to French class.. It's my mandatory foreign language class.

On the way over I notice the BOFH getting out of his car and write down the licence plate number. Might as well kill two birds with one stone later.

In French class the instructor is his normal stuck up self. The French they iz the prezisaomo when it comes to zi women.

Like with your ugly mug you probably had to pay money guy.

The deep nasal sound we had to practice. If I had a baseball bat I would make he do nasal sounds. Maybe later.

After class I am back in the lab and tap into the police data base.

Now for that ticket. <clicket click> What ticket.. HAHAHAHAHA. And the officer... Oh he just lost the registration for his car. Let him explain that one.

Now for the BOFH. <clickety, click> Lets just report that one stolen.

He will get out of it but it is fun to harass.

I am just about done when my cellular phone rings.

Being the Bastard User From Hell means never being out of touch.

It Tom.. you know from the newspaper.

"John... Tom.. what can you tell me about Mr. Renee? I understand he is your French teacher."

"Besides being a lousy French teacher and a stuck up jack ass and living beyond his means not much. Why?"

"He just got arrested for taking money from the banks ATM using false ATM cards."

DAMMM those bank guys are getting close. I am going to have to redo the banks accounts and give me some more breathing room. They must have a couple a sharp cookies working for them.

"Can you hang on for five minutes and I will call you right back?"

"OK" Tom says.

Quick.. got to get into the system. (Using a fake id of course) Where is his account. There we go. Got to make a few (couple dozen extra transactions). Back date them of course.

Quickly set up a dummy account for savings. Say put in $20K. Then I will have to

****WATCHER ALERT****

Damm those bank guys are getting better.

I got 30 seconds.

Get into the other account. 20 sec.

Put in two numbers from the drug dealers Swiss bank account

10 sec.

Run the back date software

5 sec

sign off.

Made it by 2 sec.

Being the Bastard User From Hell means never getting caught.

"Tom... John"

"Yeah... what do you have"

"Tom.. sit down and write this down and then take it to the police and you never talked to me understand"

"Yeah... OK... why"

"He has $20K in a saving account, number ############# at BofA. He has made dozens of withdrawal in the last month. He also has the number to some Swiss bank account in his account ########## at the bank. I think there may be some drug running in this one."

"DAAMMMM. How did you find out all that so quick?"

"Do you want me to help you with the homework or not?" I say.

"Never mind.. I get this to the police"

"Thanks for the story?" Tom says.

"No problem man"

Being the Bastard User From Hell means always out nasaling your French instructor.

Author: John W. Fox
HTML: Cord Beermann