I end up in one of the required class. Psych. Yeah, let me near a computer and I'll psych you out all right. And the teacher.

She is one of those b***** (excuse me, female dog) who blames all of the world's ill on the male gender. Jesss give me a break. If it was not for some male she would not even be here. Ever take a Bio class lady!

The female has been going on and on about how things are screwed up. Yeah, I know I am sitting in this class just thinking of how to really screw things up... FOR HER.

Then she mentions computers always fail...Bingo, here is my chance.

"Well, you know that the communication lines that are bounced of the stratosphere are being interupted by falling satellite parts and this causes computer to miss the synching cycle." I say.

When you walk the walk and talk the talk.....

"Huh" she says.

"Well, yeah, with the synch cycle out the computer does not know what you are trying to tell it so it makes something up and that is why the satellites are falling."

If you can not blind um with your brilliance, baffel um with the bullcrap.

Her... BB in a Boxcar when it comes to technical stuff.

Got her going for five minutes before she got back on men designed satellites and that is why they fall out of the sky etc.etc.etc.

Ppplleeaassseeee!!!!!.

After class I go over to the computer center and tap into the reserve userid file. Guess whos id is on the system.

Yeah.. It PAY BACK TIME.

Being the Bastard User From Hell means always out psyching the your psych instructor.

I'll just make up some stuff and report it.

Whats this. alt.sex.beastality... alt.sex.pedephilla

EUREKA..... PAYDIRT. And I did not have to make it up.

I call my friend at the newspaper (help him in a class once). Got to know the computer system at the newspaper. Comes in handy when you want to spread some dirt around.

LIKE NOW.

"Hey Tom... John"

"Oh hi.. thanks for the help on the last exam."

"No problem... hey you want a story about a teacher that the state is paying good money to run a sex bulliten board?" I say.

"Is it a big one?" he asks

"You would not believe how big!" I say.

I send him a file with a bunch of stuff (userid, password, other crap). I also get in and download the user names from four other bulletin boards about the same stuff I ran across. Never know when info comes in handy.

He thanks me and says "Do not eat at the cafeteria at school. Some one keeps sending organ transplate stuff there."

I hand up and say darn that was a good one. I should have thought of that. I wonder who... no I don't.

I go back home and get ready for a job interview.

What you say! The Bastard User From Hell is giving in to the corporate world. Guess again. It is at a bank that has a large network of ATM machines. Only as long as it takes to figure out how to crack the system and set my self up with several million and computer access for the rest of my life.

Being the Bastard User From Hell means never running out of cash.

On the way out I hear a couple people saying how this nice man taught them how the "rm" command is the remark command.

I wonder who that could be.

Author: John W. Fox
HTML: Cord Beermann